


Turner Timeline--1966

by abbyleaf101, Chariot_to_Somewhere



Series: Turner Timeline [2]
Category: Call the Midwife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-11 21:25:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 41,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13532841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbyleaf101/pseuds/abbyleaf101, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chariot_to_Somewhere/pseuds/Chariot_to_Somewhere
Summary: Follows the Turner family (and their extended family and friends) in the year 1966.Can be considered canon compliant up through series 6.





	1. Telling the Littles

They've met her a few times, when Tim has brought her around because he doesn't know what else to do, and home is safe and Shelagh will always know what to do. 

But it gets to the point they should tell them or else they'll notice, they're not stupid and they're around enough baby related stuff they'll probably notice before most kids would. And he sort of wants to because he knows Teddy and Angela will be excited about baby, and Annie deserves that, because Shelagh was happy for her but also concerned with practicalities... whereas the kids will just be pure joy.

So Tim sits them down on the sofa, Annie is in the kitchen with Shelagh, a little nervous about how they will react. 

Teddy and Angela looks up at him.  
A bit get on with it, we have shit to do.  
Tim is a little unsure as to how exactly to tell them.

"Are you coming back to live with us?" Teddy asks, tilting his head at Tim. "Is Annie?"

Tim chuckles a little. "No bud. But Annie is going to have a baby."

There's a few moments of silence and then Teddy scrambles up to stand on the sofa. "A BABY!"  
Angela watches him with great big eyes.  
"Is she really!?" Teddy reaches out towards him.

Tim laughs and picks Teddy up. "She really is. If you don't believe me you can go ask her. She's in the kitchen with Mummy."

Teddy squirms to be put down and runs into the kitchen. Angela is a little bit slower. She looks up at Tim. "Is she okay?"

"She is. Auntie Trixie is taking very good care of her at clinic."  
Angela is a lot like Tim, even at 5 knowing a little medical bit helps

"Oh. Mummy was sick..." Angela murmurs quietly

She only really remembers Shelagh had to go to hospital

"Mummy was sick when Teddy was in her belly. But Annie is okay."

"Okay." Angela trusts him. She takes his hand.

Tim and Angie walk into the kitchen to find Teddy up on his tiptoes with his face pressed against Annie's belly.

Annie looks a little o.O but she's smiling at Teddy and laughing a little.  
"Hello baby!!"  
Tim leads Angela over to Annie and squeezes her hand gently. Angie hovers at Annie's side, eyes on her brother and her belly.

Annie reaches out and touches Angie's hair.  
"Baby is still small, you won't be able to feel it, but you can say hi like Teddy if you'd like"

Angela nods and puts her hand on Annie's belly next to Teddy's face. "Hello, baby," she murmurs solemnly and then wraps her arms around Annie's middle.  
She will be so excited. She's just worried.

Tim slips behind Annie and whispers that Angie is worried that she'll get sick like Shelagh did.  
Annie makes a soft noise and nods to him, with a small smile. "Angie, would you like to sit on the sofa with me?"

Angie nods and takes Annie's hand as she's led to the sofa. Sitting down Annie goes to pull Angie onto her lap but Angie resists a bit.  
"It's okay sweet girl, it won't hurt baby."

Tim follows them and nods. "She's right, Angela, it's okay. I promise."

Angie carefully sits on Annie's lap but doesn't cuddle into her like she usually does. She's barely balancing on Annie's knees, her toes still on the floor. Annie winks at Tim slyly and puts her hands on Angie's sides, and starts tickling her. When she starts laughing Annie pulls her fully onto her lap.  
"Baby has been in my belly as long as you've known me sweetie. Cuddling won't hurt baby."

Angela still looks a little hesitant but curls into her and cuddles close.  
Still giggling a little from Annie tickling her.

"Baby's really been in there that long?" Angie asks, eyes wide.  
Angie feels like Annie's been coming around for ages.

Angie laughs a little. "Yes sweet girl. For that long. Baby is very very small at first."  
"Right, Tim?"

 

Tim nods, "That's right. Baby is still so small we can't even hear it's heartbeat yet."  
"how big??" Angela asks, looking between them. She's fascinated.

Tim holds his hands up to about how big baby is now according to his text books."About this big."

"Oh wow," Angela whispers and squirms around a little to put her hand on her belly again "When can you hear the heartbeat??? And feel baby??"

"We'll be able to hear baby in two or three weeks." Tim tells her  
"I should be able to feel baby around then too." Annie says, "but it'll take a little longer for baby to be big enough for you to feel."

Angela's eyes are so wide and fascinated. "I liked feeling Teddy..." she admits, almost shy  
"It felt funny. But nice."

"I can't wait to feel baby move." Annie tells her "Your Mummy says it feels like a little fish swimming inside your tummy." Annie starts tickling her again

Angela shrieks, giggling at the tickling and the thought of a little fishy swimming around in her tummy. Shelagh is watching quietly from the doorway of the kitchen, with a small smile. She's so proud of her children. A little sad that Angela is already worried about when someone has a baby, but. Proud of them.

She feels a little guilty that Angela is already worrying about it.  
Should they have protected her more? Dealt with it better somehow?

Annie stops tickling Angela and they settle back onto the couch again, quiet for a little.  
"I'm happy you're having a baby Annie." Angie says quietly.

Annie kisses the top of her head. "Me too, sweet girl. Me too."  
Teddy scrambles up onto the sofa too. He'd been listening to the Serious Voices  
Tim helps him climb up and pulls him onto his lap.

Teddy squirms around so he can lie on Tim and Annie  
"Gonna love you and baby lots and lots..." he mumbles

Annie looks over at Tim with tears in her eyes  
The joy and love she's feeling right now is overwhelming. Their happiness isn't undercut by worry and stress like hers and Tim's.

Even Anglea, now she's been reassured and is enthralled by the information about the baby  
Tim squeezes her hand gently. "Told you they'd be happy."  
It was definitely what Annie needed. Angie and Teddy have no concept for kicking people out of their lives, or even why someone wouldn't be happy about a baby. Why wouldn't they be happy and love Annie and the baby?

Shelagh visits a few days later with a whole stack of paper cards and drawing and questions from Angela and Teddy.

And Annie just kind of...breaks down

Shelagh is startled. "Annie, dear?" A little worried her kids had accidentally overstepped a line. They're a little ... enthusiastic.  
Annie wipes at her eyes and starts to apologize. "I'm sorry, it's just, it's overwhelming."  
She sits down on the sofa and Shelagh follows her.

"It's okay," Shelagh reassures her. "No apologies needed." Shelagh hands her a handkerchief.  
"They're just a little ... enthusiastic."

"And it's so wonderful." Annie dabs at her eyes. "They were the first people I've told who were...just happy."

Shelagh softens and puts her arm around her shoulder. "They're very happy. It's all they've talked about."

That makes Annie smile. "I always thought that when I had a baby, everyone I knew, my family, friends.....would be happy. The father...."

Shelagh squeezes her gently. "I can't do anything about the father... but your family *is* happy for you. If you want us. I know it's not what you imagined."

Annie lets out a little sob. Shelagh wanted to be her family?

Shelagh pulls her into a proper cuddle

Annie can't think of anything to say in response, she just leans into Shelagh's embrace

Shelagh just cuddles her quietly for a while  
"Would you like to see their letters?" she whispers after a while.

Annie nods and sits up more, to be able to look through them.

Shelagh hands her the stack and helps her translate Teddy's scribbles. Angela has drawn little pictures of babies and booties and has a few questions, more about how big the baby was, when did you know, are you hungry more?  
Teddy's is more just drawings and cards.

The drawings and cards and questions make Annie's heart swell. She'll have to remember to answer them the next time she sees Angela.

"Don't tell her I told you, but Angie asked me if I could teach her to knit. She said she wanted to try and make things for baby."

"Oh that is the sweetest."  
Annie really can't form any other words. She's just so shaken by how happy Angie and Teddy are. She wishes that she could be experiencing this with her sisters too. But, her baby will have people who love them.


	2. Punching Kenneth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: assault, past abuse

Tim and Annie return to classes in the new year and Annie ends up staying with Tim more nights than not. Running into Kenneth in their building is the last thing she wants to happen, and she’s frightened of being alone. Unfortunately, she has to see Kenneth from afar on campus. By the start of the new term he's already hanging on a new girl, and Annie notices that she never seems comfortable with his arm draped over her shoulders. For the most part, Kenneth doesn’t even make show that he notices her on campus, but Annie swears she can feel his eyes on her when she’s not looking. 

A few weeks into term, Kenneth manages to find Annie alone while she’s waiting for Tim. The hallway they are in is deserted and Annie realizes he must have followed her. Immediately her arms are wrapped around her middle as Kenneth looms closer to her, backing her into a wall. 

"I thought I told you to fucking take care of that." His voice is low, and he has his hand wrapped around her upper arm, stopping her from turning away from him. 

"I am ‘taking care’ of my baby." She's shaking but she will stand up to him, she has to. 

Tim's class had just ended and he sees them standing at the end of the hall. He can see the grip Kenneth has on her arm.  
He reaches them and hears Kenneth saying that if there weren't people around he would make sure it was taken care of the right way.

Tim is immediately at her shoulder. "Let go of her."

Kenneth tells him to fuck off. This doesn't concern him.

"It concerns my friend, and a bullying coward. It does concern me." Tim stands his ground when Kenneth let's go of Annie and takes a step towards him.

"If you threaten her and her baby again. I will have you arrested." Tim stands to his full height, squaring his shoulders. And while he is tall, he is not as tall or as broad as Kenneth. 

Kenneth sneers at Tim and cracks his knuckles.  
"I'd like to see you try."   
And before Tim can respond, his head snaps back as Kenneth’s fist connects with his face.   
Tim shakes his head, not letting it show that his vision is swimming a little, and just wipes his mouth and looks at Kenneth. It’s mostly just going to result in a split lip, and that’s nothing. And Tim knows that he can easily drop Kenneth.  
"I'm giving you one more chance to walk away now." Tim isn't letting Kenneth getting up in his face phase him.  
Kenneth takes another step towards Tim but is stopped when Tim’s fist lands hard in his stomach. Kenneth doubles over and gasps as his breath is knocked out of him and doesn’t see Tim’s knee coming up to meet his nose.   
“Fuck!” Kenneth shouts as he tries to stand up, but falls against the wall, his hand up to his nose to try and stop the bleeding. 

By now, a group of people including staff come around the corner and Kenneth stands up, hand still at his face he snarls "this isn't over."  
"Yes, it is. Now fuck off." Tim replies  
He's fundamentally a coward, won’t try anything more with witnesses around. He barrels down the hallway, pushing past anyone who tries to stop him. 

Annie is pressed against the wall. Her arms wrapped around her middle. Shaking and trying not to cry.

"Annie?" he keeps his distance, gives her space. His voice is low and quiet, soothing. 

She's still just shaking. Having a hard time moving away from the wall.

Tim takes her to his place, knowing that she won’t want to go home because Kenneth knows where she lives. And anyway, his place is nearly hers now too, if not officially. 

He gets her into his flat and sets her on the couch before starting the kettle and popping into his room. Before leaving for college Patrick gave him his old stethoscope, it might be a little too early, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

He goes back into the living room and finds her curled up on one end of the couch. Arms wrapped around her knees and face buried. He can see her shaking with her sobs. 

"Annie?" He crouches down in front of her. "Annie, love, put your legs down a minute."

She uncurls and sits up properly. Her eyes are red and tears are still streaming down her face.

"Lift your shirt up a little." Tim says getting up and sitting next to her.

"What? What are you-?" She looks at him, and tries to steady her breathing so she can understand what he's doing..  
"Just, lift your shirt up a little for me?" He shows her the stethoscope.   
She looks at him oddly but lifts her shirt.   
Tim presses the end of the stethoscope to her the side of her belly and put the earbuds in his ears. He has to move it around a few times before he found what he was searching for. A wide smile goes across his face when he finds it. The fast, strong heartbeat filled his ears.

Pulling the earpieces from his ears, he hands it to Annie

She takes it and places the ends in her own ears. A smile to match Tim's appears. And her tears come harder, but now they're the happy kind. 

"Baby is safe. You are safe." Tim leans in and kisses the side of her head. They stay like that for a long time.


	3. Annie Losing Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super tiny snippet

So many of her friends drop her after word gets around that she's pregnant.   
And....not much changes. She was mostly spending her free time with Tim.   
She didn't really have any friends that she would have considered good or close, but it would have been nice  
if maybe one or two would still /talk/ to her. 

If there were people she could have nodded to in the hallway, or sat with at lunch, or whatever. Asked for class notes from. And now total strangers start avoiding her and whispering behind their hands. 

I think that's when she realises how much of a friend Tim actually *is* and how well they get on. When everyone drops her and she's sad/mad about it, but her day to day life ... doesn't really change? Tim's still there. 

She ends up spending even more time with Tim than before. In the little bit of time between telling Kenneth and then her parents and even more after.


	4. Annie's Education

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another super short snippet in chat format

It's not long after that that Annette is told she can't continue at school

Maybe that's Kenneth's "revenge"  
He tells the board she's pregnant  
And not getting married  
And the damage is does to their reputation etc  
And practically living with a man  
Annette is so mad  
So is Tim  
he petitions the school on her behalf but they just don't want to kow  
Kenneth's Daddy knows people etc etc  
It pisses Tim off to no end  
He's so angry. That they even treat young women like this. That its *only* the women who get treated like this. And that fucking Kenneth gets away scot free despite the bruises on both of them


	5. A New Job

Shelagh hadn’t planned that visiting Violet at her shop would turn into possibly having found a job for Annie. Something that could be done at home, and maybe become more permanent after Annie had given birth.

At the haberdashery, Violet had mentioned to Shelagh that she had been thinking of taking on an apprentice of sorts. She was finding it more difficult to mind the store all day on her own. And an extra set of hands for alterations would be helpful. 

“I might have someone who would fit the bill.” Shelagh tells her as she places her purchase on the counter. “She’s a wonderful seamstress already, and I’m sure she’d be thrilled at the opportunity.”

“This wouldn’t happen to be the young lady your Timothy has been bringing around, hmm?” Violet says as she places the buttons in a bag and takes Shelagh’s offered money. 

“One in the same. She really is a wonderful girl, and I know she’s looking for work.” Shelagh smiles, taking the bag. 

“Bring her by next time she’s visiting.” Violet returns the smile. She wouldn’t mind giving the job to someone vetted by Shelagh. And it would save her the hassle of placing an advert.   
__

Shelagh brings it up over breakfast one morning when Tim and Annie had visited for the weekend. She tells Annie she needs to do some chores, pick up some supplies from the haberdashery and that she’s welcome to come along if she likes. 

"And I'm sure we could acquire some cake on the way back." Shelagh adds with a cheeky grin.

Annie happily joins Shelagh in her errands, even without the prospect of cake. She enjoys walking around Poplar, doesn't have to look over her shoulder constantly. And the weather is warming up, so it's quite nice out. People have started greeting her too, and knowing her not just as Tim Turner’s friend.   
Shelagh does a little food shopping and things, and then goes to the haberdashery. At the tinkling of the bell on the door, Violet bustles out of the back work room and greets them brightly. 

"Hello, Violet! I hope you're well. I'm afraid I need more buttons, Teddy keeps losing his." Shelagh says, walking up to the counter. 

Violet laughs and grabs a pack of buttons from the shelf behind her. "Like father like son, those boys of yours are keeping me in business with these buttons."  
It's an old joke between them. It seems as if Shelagh is there every other week for more buttons.   
Shelagh grins. "Patrick's the worst of them too!"

Annie has drifted to look at the fabric patches and things.  
"Tim's just as bad, but at least he fixes his own." Annie adds, looking over her shoulder at the older women.

Violet grins. "You taught him well, Mrs Turner." She turns to Annie. "Anything for you, dear?"

"Oh, no. I think I'm good for the moment. Though I'm sure that it won't be long now until even my altered clothing doesn't fit." Annie jokes, putting her hand on her belly. She knows Vi is part of the Nonnatus family, had met her at Christmas. So she doesn't feel the need to avoid talking about her baby. 

Violet looks sympathetic. "That's probably true. Do you do the alterations yourself?"

Annie nods. "Yes, buying all new clothes is not very practical, so I've just altered what I've had. Shelagh and Trixie also gave me some of their maternity things to work with."   
Annie's more than just a little proud of her sewing skills. 

"May I have a look at how you did them?" Violet asks. "If you don't mind, if course. It's always good to see how other people do things. You can come through to the changing area if you like."

Annie follows Violet behind the counter and through to the changing room.   
While they're discussing Annie's technique, Shelagh busies herself with looking through patterns.

Shelagh is so happy, she can hear the murmurs of their voices if not what they're saying, and Annie sounds happy and energetic and enthusiastic   
Shelagh lingers especially long over the baby patterns   
Violet offers her the job - or a bit of work as and when she wants it - right there in the back room, admiring her neat even stitches and how she can barely tell there's even been an alteration.

Shelagh is so pleased.   
"What were you and Violet whispering about in there? Not planning a coup, I hope?" But she's teasing and her eyes are dancing   
Annie grins at her. "No coup. Violet offered me a job, helping her with alterations and tailoring. And possibly minding the store once the baby is born."

Shelagh grins and squeezes her shoulder. "That's brilliant! Are you going to?" 

"Yeah, I think so. I mean, I need the money. And it's something I can do at home with the baby." 

Shelagh nods. "Violet is lovely to work with. And you already know Fred." (Annie is bemused by but fond of Fred) "And you seem to enjoy it, too."

 

"I do enjoy it. I used to make little doll dresses for me and my sisters when we were small." Annie smiles fondly. 

"I'm sure Angela would be happy to help," Shelagh says with a wink and squeezes her wrist. "That's wonderful, Annie. I'm so glad."

"It'll be nice to have money coming in. My savings won't stretch to cover everything this little one will need." Her voice goes quiet. She doesn't like really talking about how hard it's been to even just afford basics.

"We'll help," Shelagh reassures her. "And you know Sister Julienne won't take no for an answer. Or Trixie." 

"I guess." Annie mumbles. "It's just......I grew up having more than I needed, never needing help. It's not something I'm used to."

"Everyone needs help sometimes," Shelagh says softly. "People want to help. Especially if you help them back." 

"I had to apply for benefits...I can't even afford food right now." Annie's voice is laced with shame. Many years of hearing her father talk down about people who needed assistance. 

Shelagh makes a soft noise. "Oh Annie. That's what they're there for. To help people who need it. And I'm sure Fred has some veg going spare."

"Tim's brought some home with him before. Says Fred doesn't let him leave without taking some." Annie gives a little laugh, trying to seem positive. 

"Fred's fond of our Tim. Proud he was one of his Cubs. Besides, the vegetable garden is for the community, and you're part of the community now."  
"I know, it's just hard, I guess?"   
"I know." Shelagh is very familiar with the urge/need to do everything herself and not ask for help or burden anyone. Shelagh bumps against Annie's shoulder. "But, you just got a job, so things will start becoming a little easier."

Annie smiles at her, relieved. "I hope I don't let her down."

"I'm sure you won't. She wouldn't have offered you the position if she didn't think you could do it." Shelagh wraps an arm over Annie's shoulders as they finally approach the Nonnatus steps.

 

________________________

She eventually lets herself buy some things for the baby. Even though Tim tells her that the residents of Poplar will essentially clothe the baby for his first year. And when Shelagh brings things over, Annette realizes just how right Tim was. She's amazed by it. 

Tim buys some stuff too while he's out, which surprises her. They're useful, too. (omg so much sterilizer) Shelagh turns up and has donations from the box at Nonnatus, and some stuff from Chummy and a few things Shelagh has, and from the other mothers at clinic, and it's just - it's a lot. "Patrick can bring you a cot, too, if you need it, but it wouldn't fit in the car..." It's overwhelming. 

The outpouring of love from people she's never even met stuns her. It's because she's Tim's friend, and everyone knows Tim. So a friend of Tim's is a good person. And she just can't. 

There's are clothes and blankets and little booties and hats and a few toys, and other things too - things for her, rather than for baby. A few cards/notes too. A friend of Tim's is a friend of theirs. He's such a good boy. Always so sweet and helpful. Grew up so good and strong. And a little bit because she's a friend of Shelagh and Patrick, and therefore a friend of theirs. They're good people, they are. It makes her re-think everything her mother ever told her about the sorts of people that live in a place like Poplar.


	6. Annie Tells Shelagh About Kenneth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: Annie discusses the abuse Kenneth put her through. Physical, emotional, and sexual.

when she tells Shelagh that Kenneth forced himself on her  
yes  
god  
Shelagh figured that it was something like that, from what she knows about how Kenneth treated her. But hearing her talk about it, breaks her heart  
yes  
especially when Annie says, I should have done something, fought him more, I just froze...  
Shelagh is so forceful when she tells Annie it's not her fault  
yes  
It makes Annie jump a bit. Not fear, just surprise  
Her parent's told her she should have just kept her legs shut, when she alluded to not exactly being a willing participant.  
yes  
if she'd been less of a tease/slut she wouldn't be in that position in the first place

Shelagh takes Annie's hands in hers, "Annette, nothing you did or did not do excuses his actions."  
Annie clings to her hands. "I...I told him no. That I didn't want to....but he said it was my fault he was aroused so I had to finish what I started."  
Shelagh just squeezes her hands, encouraging Annie to continue if she needs to.  
"He would ... usually he would... use my mouth. Hold me down." Annie feels mortified, to be saying this to Shelagh  
Shelagh feels her stomach turn and forces down the bile that rises up.  
Annie takes a shaky breath. Her heart is pounding and she feels sick. She's never actually told anyone this "But that time ... he'd been drinking...The first time.....he forced himself inside.....he..i...i tried to stop him, tell him I wasn't ready for that. "

Shelagh is white with fear and rage and how her stomach is rolling.  
She squeezes Annie's hands.

"It happened more after that first time." Annie swallows hard, she can feel herself shaking a little.  
"The *bastard*," Shelagh swears, voice low but firm  
Annie's shocked to hear Shelagh swear.  
Shelagh looks unapologetic. God if Shelagh ever met Kenneth. She'd want to murder him on the spot.  
"He would tell me that I was used good now, and no one else would ever want me."

"That's not true," Shelagh tells her firmly. "Nothing anybody can do can ever make you ‘used goods’."

"He's right though, who's going to want an uneducated single mother who can't even support herself?"

"We do," Shelagh tells her fiercely. Tim does, she adds internally. "So many people, Annie. Who's going to want a brave, compassionate woman and her beautiful baby?"

Annie lets out a sob and lowers her head, she wants to pull her hands back and curl up. Believing Shelagh is a lot harder than believing Kenneth.

"Oh love," Shelagh murmurs. "Shh." All Shelagh wants to do is pull her into a hug but she won't do it without permission, especially not now. "Come here, do you want a hug?"  
"I don't....I don't think I can handle that right now." Annie says quietly.

"That's okay," Shelagh tells her softly. "Would you like a blanket?"

Annie nods and tries to make herself small on the sofa but she can't curl up as she's used to, she's maybe 5 months along now, but her belly stops her from pulling her knees up to her chest.

Shelagh fetches her a blanket and a pillow. "Here. For between your knees. It helped me when I couldn't get comfortable," Shelagh's voice is warm and low.

Annie accepts the offered pillow and blanket and curls herself back up.

Shelagh tells her quietly she'll just be in the kitchen and to call out if she needs anything.

"Please don't go." Annie doesn't want to be touched but she doesn't want to be alone.  
She needs to not be alone.

"Of course," Shelagh tells her. "I'll be right here." Shelagh settles into the armchair in Annie's line of sight.

"Is it bad that I can't hate him?" Annie asks quietly after a few minutes.

"No," Shelagh murmurs quietly. "There's nothing bad about any way you feel."

"He treated me horribly.....but....I don't think I'd change any of it if it meant I wouldn't have my baby. What does that say about me?"

"It means you love your baby." Shelagh's heart hurts for her. "That's all, Annie."

"I've loved them since I found out."

"I know." Shelagh's voice is quiet

"I see him on campus sometimes." Annie whispers, after going quiet again for a little.

"Does he see you?" he asks quietly

"Yes. I can sometimes feel him watching me."

"Does he approach you?" Shelagh is like, planning to commit murder here.

"He did...a few days ago....I can't hide my belly anymore. He found me after a class and cornered me."  
Shelagh makes a soft encouraging noise to continue.  
"He....he threatened me." Annie's shaking again, her hands are on her belly under the blanket. "If Tim hadn't come....."

Shelagh exhales softly. She thinks she knows what she's referring to, Tim was *so mad* one night. He walked to a phone box and asked to talk to his Dad and Patrick was grave and quiet  
"I'm glad he did."

"I don't think I'd still be pregnant if he hadn't." Annie says quietly, Shelagh barely hears her.

"He punched me in the stomach when I first told him.....he was threatening to finish what he started when Tim got to me."

Shelagh has to swallow her rage, it's buzzing under her skin. "Annie..." she murmurs

"I'm terrified that he'll find me alone again."  
She waits for Tim to walk home, and always waits for him in crowded places so that there will be witnesses if Kenneth tries something.

"I'd love to come and walk with you, if you like,." Shelagh hates to think of her cooped up on her own.

"I can't ask you to do that. You have work, and your own children to think about."  
"You're not asking, I'm offering," Shelagh replies. "I want to. I can bring the kids. They love you."

"What if that doesn't stop him? He leaves me alone when Tim is around because Tim punched him and nearly broke his nose with his knee."  
Shelagh lets out a little laugh "Where do you think he learned that?"

Annie lifts her head from where she had her chin tucked against her chest and her face hidden to look at Shelagh.  
She'd thought Tim had been joking when he said his Mum taught him everything he knew  
"I thought Tim was joking about that."

Shelagh laughs softly again. "No. What I didn't learn as a teenager I learned as a nun."

Annie can't help but laugh

"It's why he didn't go straight for the punch to the face. It hurts, and you're more likely to break your hand than their face."

"Tim told me as much. I wish Kenneth had broken his hand on my face." she says darkly

Shelagh makes an ugly snorting sound. "Well, if he ever tries anything with me, he'll have more than a broken hand."


	7. Annie Feels the Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelagh is there the first time Annie is *sure* she felt the baby move
> 
> she's felt little flickers before  
> but it was always gone before she could figure out if it was the baby  
> it lasts longer this time  
> a little firmer

Annie and Shelagh are sitting on the sofa watching Teddy and Angie color on the floor  
and Annie's hands fly to her belly "oh!"  
Shelagh looks over to her. "Annie?" She'd be concerned but Annie's expression is awestruck  
"I just felt them move." Her smile is so wide

"Oh Annie!" Shelagh leans over to wrap her arms around her. "Oh, that's so wonderful!"  
Both Teddy and Angela looks up at their voices.

"I've thought I felt movement before, but this definitely was." Annie's still got her hands on her belly, rubbing softly where she felt the movement.

"I know I can't feel yet, but may I?" Shelagh asks her. "Feeling Teddy was so..."  
Annie nods and Shelagh puts a hand over her belly too.

Shelagh presses her hand a little firmly against Annie's belly, instinctively palpating to feel where the baby was.  
Annie smiles. Tim's done it a few times, too.  
Angie and Teddy creep over from where they were colouring.  
"Is baby okay?" Angie is still a little worried Annie will be sick like Mummy was.

"Baby is okay." Annie reassures her. "I just felt them move, you can put your hand on my belly too, if you'd like. But baby's still too small to feel from the outside."

Angie presses her hand gently against Annie's belly and Teddy reaches out too. The tableau they all make makes Annie chuckle a little.

"Angie loved feeling Teddy move when I was pregnant." Shelagh tells Annie. "Lots of cuddles with little hands on my belly."

Annie nods seriously. "He was kicking me!" She sounds super happy about it though.  
"You can cuddle with me," Annie tells her Angie with a smile. "When baby is big enough to feel, hmm?"  
"You were right," Annie tells Shelagh softly. "It does feel like a little fish."  
Angie and Teddy quickly get bored since they can't feel anything and go back to their coloring  
But Annie keeps her hands on her belly, as if having them there would make the baby move again.

Shelagh smiles knowingly. She was the same.  
If a little heightened by having nearly lost Teddy before she even felt him.  
"Feeling Teddy move for the first time was so wonderful. I thought I'd never get to experience it." Shelagh's quiet, reflecting.  
Annie looks at her curiously.

"Miscarriage scare," Shelagh tells her softly, voice pitched low so the kids don't hear. "I bled. Spent a couple of weeks in the hospital. It's why Angie keeps asking if baby is okay. It happened before Teddy was big enough to feel. And before that I didn't think I'd ever even be pregnant."

"You didn't give birth to Angela?" Annie asks, Tim hadn't told her that Angela was adopted.

"Oh!" Shelagh replies. "We adopted her."  
"Tim never said, I just assumed..." Annie trails off, feeling like she stuck her foot in her mouth  
Shelagh touches her arm. "It's alright. Don't worry. I love her just as much as if I'd carried her. Tim too."  
Adoption isn't something that was really talked about where Annie grew up  
there was a sort of ....shame?... surrounding it?

the sort of neighbourhood that would more likely sponsor a children's home kind of thing. Adoption is Not Good  
blood or nothing  
adopting a child was a sign of failure  
But Shelagh talked about it with such ease, was proud to call Angela her daughter

"They're both little miracles," Shelagh tells her. “Gifts. They needed us, and we needed them." Shelagh doesn't talk about God much, she knows Annie is uncomfortable with it.  
Finds it hard to pray still.

"I thought for a long time that not being able to conceive was a punishment, for leaving the order." Shelagh's able to talk about this more freely now "But I see now that it wasn't, I was meant to be Angela's mum. And as hard as things might seem, you're meant to be your baby's mum."

Annie is still rubbing her belly and looks down at her hand. "I never doubted that I should be their Mum. I loved them as soon as I knew. At first, Tim was the only other person who thought I could do it. Who wasn't telling me to give them up or.....get rid of them..."

Shelagh makes a soft noise, encouraging her to continue if she wants to

"That's why Kenneth.....hit me. Because I told him I wouldn't. My parents never want to see me again, because I wouldn't. I just....Thank you. For being excited with me."

"Oh Annie," Shelagh murmurs and hugs her tightly again. "It is my pleasure. I am so excited for you and your baby."

Annie pulls back and wipes at her eyes. "Ugh. I cry at everything now." She laughs a little

Shelagh chuckles. "Oh, I remember that."  
They sit in a comfortable silence, watching Angie and Teddy.


	8. Tim Feels the Baby

Annie has been putting Tim's hand against her stomach for a while. When she feels Danny move beyond more than a little flicker. Because she wants him to be the first to feel bb Danny move.   
Tim's gotten use to her taking his hand and putting it on her belly in the evenings, when they're sitting together on the sofa reading or watching television. And when he feels the baby move, he hadn't really been paying attention, more focused on the article he was reading (and criticizing).

Reading the journal article with one hand, putting the book down on his knee to scribble thoughts in his notebook occasionally, and his other hand on Annie's belly, sitting the way they have done for weeks now, pretty much since Annie felt the baby move. He barely registers what he's feeling at first, rubs his hand back and forth over her belly a little, soothing, before his brain catches up. 

He puts the book and the notebook on the sofa next to him and sits up straight. A little frown of concentration, and presses his hand more firmly against her belly. 

Annie sets aside her own book when Tim moves and watches the concentration on his face. After a few moments, Tim's face breaks out into a giant grin when he feels a little ~thump~ against his hand.   
He lets out a giggle - which triggers Annie into her own fit of giggles - and rubs his hand steadily over the spot where he felt the movement.

"Was that?" His voice is full of wonder. 

"You can feel them?" Annie asks, bright eyed and still giggling a little at Tim's expression. 

At Tim's nod - he can't find any words - Annie wraps her arms around him in a hug, his hand still on her belly between them. "Oh, Tim! I'm so glad."  
Annie lets him go and places her hand on his over her stomach. She moves his hand a little bit and watches his face light up again when they feel another movement. 

"This is the first they've been strong enough to feel from the outside." Her voice is soft, warm. Tim looks up at her face and she can see that his eyes have teared up. 

"Oh, Tim," Annie murmurs and squeezes his hand on her belly. "I'm glad you were the first person to feel him." She feels a little awestruck that Tim is tearing up over feeling her baby. A baby that's not his. But it's important enough to him to react like this, like it's something precious and important. 

Tim makes a little noise, caught halfway between a laugh and a (happy) sob. "Me too. Oh, Annie, this is so.......amazing." He finally breathes out. Tim shifts again to bring his face down closer to her stomach, causing his school work to fall to the floor forgotten. "Hello little one, what's all this commotion about in there?"

Annie lets out a little laugh and brushes her fingers through Tim's hair with her free hand. "I think he's just trying to say hello."

Annie's having feelings she very decidedly does not want to be having. Feelings about Tim, and the two of them having a future together. How much she had wanted to kiss him when he teared up because of her baby. 

Tries to chalk it up to pregnancy hormones, or because she's so unused to having people treat her with kindness like this, to having people put her first and treat her like she's important. Still trying desperately to stop herself falling for him. 

Tim rests his cheek against her stomach for just a few seconds, swallowing down the urge to kiss her bump. 

Annie's heart leapt into her throat when Tim pressed his cheek to her belly. Not sure if he was going to kiss her bump, not sure if she didn't want him to. And when he doesn't, she finds that she's more disappointed than she really should be. 

Tim's classwork is completely forgotten for the night. And doesn't really care, he has time to finish it. Getting to feel Annie's baby is a much better way to spend his evening really.   
His classwork can wait. Some things are more important. Annie and her baby will always be one of those things. 

_______CHAT ADDITION________  
Oh man, though. Tim ringing home to tell his Mum and Dad he felt baby move.  
Oh gosh. He's SO EXCITED about it. 

I think that's one of the definitive moments of Patrick and Shelagh realizing how deep Tim is in this. Like they knew....but his excitement, that just cements it. 

This is like ... Dad felt baby move levels of excitement. It hits Shelagh right in the chest, because he sounds just like Patrick did when he felt baby Teddy move, the almost breathless excitement and the way he can't quite get the words out. Like Shelagh answers the phone and he tells her, and then Patrick speaks to him and he tells him too... 

That's when they really start to worry their dear sweet boy is going to get his heart broken. 

They're so worried he's going to get his heart broken. And Shelagh knows Annie wouldn't do it intentionally. But this is like a month/month and half before the Not Uncle Tim. 

Tim's so happy about feeling bb. And he knows he's probably more invested than he should be. But he doesn't care. Because he already loves that little bb so much, and Annie too. 

Annie would never do it intentionally, but you can't help who you do - or don't - love. 

Tim doesn't care if he gets his heart broken. He's pretty much resigned himself to it, at this point. But he thinks it's worth it - loving this little bb and loving Annie too, getting to be involved in their lives, getting to know them and take care of them. Loving someone is worth the amount it's going to hurt later on. He's only worried about overstepping accidentally and making Annie uncomfortable, and about his guilt for liking her and touching her when she doesn't know. 

Tim doesn't care about being broken hearted. He wants to be involved in any way Annie wants him to be. Even if that's never in a romantic sense.


	9. Littles Feel the Baby

Teddy is lying next to Annie on the sofa with his colouring book while Angie does homework.  
He's using her lap as a pillow.  
just like they use Tim a jungle gym, they lay all over Annie, much more careful with her because of baby. Annie thinks its so sweet her heart aches a little, how careful they both are.

Annie "oofs" quietly when the baby moves and then has an idea. Tim's been able to feel movement for a little while.  
"Hey Teddy?"

Teddy looks up at her after she says his name a second time, he gets very into coloring  
She smooths his hair down gently. "Baby is awake. Do you want to see if you can feel them?"

"YES!" He shouts and jumps up to sit on his knees. Annie laughs at his excitement  
She takes his hand and presses it flat against where she can feel movement. "You have to press firmly, it's alright. Just have to wait and see."

Teddy shouts with laughter as he feels a little ~thump against his hand  
Annie laughs with him too ."Did you feel that, Teddy? Baby's saying hello!"

Teddy leans down to her belly "Hi baby!"  
Shelagh comes out from the kitchen where she'd been making dinner to see Teddy with his face and hands pressed against Annie's belly.

Annie looks at her and laughs, delighted. "Tell your Mummy what happened, Teddy."  
"Mummy! Annie's baby is saying hello!" Teddy scrambles off the couch and grabs Shelagh's hand to pull her over to the sofa.  
Shelagh laughs and lets Teddy pull her over to the sofa and sits down. "May I say hello too?" she asks Annie. Teddy is bouncing impatiently next to them on the sofa

Annie takes Shelagh's hand and presses it against her belly where the baby was kicking.  
Annie secretly loves that Shelagh asks every single time before touching her outside hugs in greeting or goodbye. And Tim does the same thing.  
It's just ... respectful of her and her boundaries and everything.  
When Shelagh feels the kick she makes a delighted sound and forgets herself for a second and leans in to kiss Annie's forehead. Like she would for a daughter.  
"Oh Annie!"  
Annie leans into Shelagh a little, not minding at all.  
Shelagh sits close to her.  
Annie is just so glad she can share this with someone.

Shelagh presses firmly and moves to add her other hand. "I do believe that is an elbow." She tells Annie. "Baby's head is here," she moves one hand up a little, and the other down, "and feet are down here."

Annie cups her hand over her belly. "Hello, love." She loves when Shelagh or Tim can tell her more about her baby inside of her.

Angela can't contain herself any longer and has to join them because she knows something exciting is happening.

"Angie! Come here, dear." Annie beams at her.

Angie joins her mum and brother with Annie and Annie places the little girl's hand on her belly.  
"Baby is awake and saying hello to everyone."

Angie makes a surprised noise. "Really?"

Annie has to encourage Angie to press a little more firmly to feel the baby, and laughs lightly when the little girl's eyes go wide when she feels the baby move. 

Annie smiles and glances at Shelagh for permission. "How about you come cuddle with me for a bit, like we talked about, hmm?"

Angie nods and climbs up on the sofa with her, sitting half on her lap.

Annie tugs her around a little so that she's resting more comfortable.  
Angie puts her head down gently on her belly.  
"hi baby" Angie says to Annie's belly.  
The baby moved again and Angie gasps.  
"They're saying hi too," Annie murmurs.  
Teddy and Angie spend the evening lying with her on the sofa, even after baby stops moving again.

Tim comes home to find them curled up like that

It’s one of the moments when Annie first starts feeling really part of the turner family  
When Patrick arrives Teddy gets off the sofa and is tugging in his arm before he even has his coat off.

"DADDY! I FELT ANNIE'S BABY MOVE!"

Patrick grins and crouches down to give him a hug. "You did? That's wonderful!"  
Patrick eventually manages to hang his coat up with Teddy still chattering away.

Patrick gives Shelagh a kiss hello and smiles at Angie and Annie who are still cuddling on the sofa together. And Tim, who got there just before him, is doing school reading next to her.  
Patrick's chest feels warm and full up with love.


	10. Letters to Janie

Janie and Margaret,  
I hope this gets to the both of you. I tried to send a Christmas card but it came back. I’m assuming that was Daddy’s doing. I miss the two of you terribly. Everything has changed so quickly, and I wish I was able to come visit. 

Tim’s family took me in for the holiday, it was like nothing I’d ever seen. It was Christmas in convent! Which you wouldn’t expect to be as wonderful as it was. His mum works closely with the nuns, it’s like an extended family. And they’ve all been so nice, even though I’m expecting a baby and am not married. 

I look forward to hearing back from you. And Janie, happy thirteenth birthday little sister. I wish I could celebrate with you. 

~ Annie

Annie,   
Thank you for the birthday wishes, it was an okay day. I wish you were here for it too. Are you doing okay? Is your baby okay? I miss you so much. 

Margaret says she doesn’t want to write to you. She says that she believes Daddy. But I think she’s wrong. And he’s wrong too. You’re not bad. Having a baby isn’t bad. Daddy being so mean to you is bad. 

What is Tim like? He seemed really nice when he came with you. 

~Janie

Janie,   
I’m glad you’re willing and able to answer my letters. I’m doing well, and so is baby. School term is about half over now for you right? I started back a couple of weeks ago - it’s been nice to get back to school, I missed seeing my friends, and my lectures too of course. 

I’m sorry to hear about Margaret, but I send her my love. I hope Daddy isn’t treating you too harshly. I miss you too, Janie, so much. I hope I can see you one day soon. 

Tim is very sweet. He’s studying to be a Doctor, like his Dad. He’s been so kind to me, so have his whole family. I think you’d like him. 

~Annie

P. S. I’ve enclosed a photo we took at Christmas! I’ve written everyone’s name on the back for you. Patrick and Shelagh are the ones standing behind me - Tim’s Mum and Dad. 

 

Annie,   
It’s so nice to hear from you again. Things haven’t been so great. Margaret has found new people at school to play with, and Daddy had one of his parties again and it was terribly boring. AND Mummy shouted at us for making too much noise and upsetting Daddy’s friends.

I hope you and the baby are still doing well. How big are they now? I tried to look it up in the library but Mummy wouldn’t let me go. 

Tim sounds nice. I hope I get to meet him again. Thank you so much for the photograph - everyone looks so happy. 

~Janie. 

 

Janie, 

Daddy’s parties were always such a bore - I hope he’s not making you serve them their drinks in my absence! I’m sure Mum will forgive you, she always forgets about it soon enough. Do try not to get into trouble, won’t you? 

Me and the baby are both fine - you can start to feel a bump now! I’ll have to find a sewing machine out from somewhere and alter my skirts. My midwife is one of Mrs Turner’s friends and says I can borrow some of hers, if I want to. You can see her in the photograph. 

Stay safe, I miss you. Tim says hello.   
~Annie

Janie,   
I haven’t heard from you in ages, and I hope you’re okay and that my last letter got to you. I wish I was able to come visit you. I miss you more than I can say and I know you’d be so excited with the news I have to share. 

The baby has started moving. And the baby is big enough to feel. It’s the most wonderful feeling Janie, I can hardly describe it. It felt like a little fish at first, but the feeling has gotten stronger. So strong that it can be felt from the outside. Tim was the first to feel it, and he was so thrilled. He’s continuing to be the most amazing friend I could have asked for. 

I wish you were here to share it with me. Be safe. 

~Annie


	11. Questions About Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of chat bits interspersed because we're lazy and editing takes away some of the information

Angie asking Annie if her mummy and daddy are happy about baby  
with Danny maybe. She thinks it strange they're not there  
like, they're not dead, she's heard them talk about them  
definitely when she's pregnant with Danny  
but Angie knows that her Mummy does all sorts of things with Annie  
like go shopping for baby things  
but doesn't Annie's Mummy want to do that?  
her Mummy is alive, so ... doesn't her Mummy want to do thing with her too?  
and she's at Christmas at Nonnatus

Annie has no idea how to explain to a 6 year old that her Mother doesn't even want her to be having her baby

Shelagh steps in gently. Tries to explain that some Mummies aren't as nice

Angie's eyes get big and sad and she looks at Annie "your Mummy isn't nice?"  
Annie swallows, "No, Angie. My - My Mummy isn't nice."

Angie thinks about it a little and says "You can share mine, she's really nice."  
Which makes Shelagh and Annie laugh a little

Annie touches her hair. "She is very nice, sweetheart."  
Maybe that's when Angie is like, she's mine now  
She's like a tiny Shelagh  
yes  
She's been Shelagh's since the first time Tim brought her to dinner  
but now she's  
Angie's too

Angie is significantly less subtle about it  
ugh feelings about Angie being so careful of hurting her baby

oh goodness  
Angie begs to go baby shopping with Annie and Shelagh  
because she doesn't want Annie to be sad about not having her Mummy with her  
and careful about cuddling her, like when she was so nervous when they first told her Annie was pregnant, because Mummy got sick  
and oh gosh, yes  
Annie is astounded by the outpouring of love from this little girl  
yes  
Angie saves up her pocket money to buy Annie something  
little booties or something  
Annette is so touched when Angie presents them to her, clumsily wrapped

it makes her cry a little  
Angie looks so worried. "Annie?? I'm sorry. Please don't cry."  
"Oh sweetie, they're happy tears. I promise."  
Angie hugs her legs. "Okay... Do you like them??"  
"I love them, and I'm sure baby will too."  
Annie runs her fingers through Angie's hair  
oh gosh  
what if Angie asks her about her baby's daddy?  
before  
oh gosh  
while they're cuddling  
Before the not uncle tim convo  
yes

Because Annie doesn't ever say anything about the baby's daddy and he's never over at her home. Angie is aware that not all baby's have daddies, and not all babies have mummies, but she wants to know.  
Curious and a little worried about it too.  
Will Annie be on her own??

"Does your baby have a daddy?" There's no lead up, she's 6...tact isn't really a thing for little kids.

Annie blinks down at her. It came out of the blue.

"Is it Tim?"  
Shelagh isn't around to field the answer  
Annie swallows. It's complicated. "... No. Not - not really."

"Did you make your baby with Tim?" Angie knows that it takes a mummy and a daddy to make a baby.  
"Um..." Annie really didn't expect this line of questions from a 6 year old  
"No. My baby was made with someone else, who wasn't very nice."

Angie frowns and hugs her, a hand tucked over her belly protectively  
"Are you sad?"

"I am." Annie is honest with her. But doesn't go into detail that she's sad she was even in the situation to begin with. But not exactly sad that Kenneth is no longer involved.

"I'm sorry you're sad," Angie murmurs "Are you... are you going to see the person who wasn't very nice?"

"No. He doesn't want to be a daddy so I won't be seeing him and the baby won't see him either." Annie feels her heart pounding with nerves over talking about this to Angie

"Oh," Angie replies quietly, and thinks for a bit. "That's good. "You don't have to see people who aren't nice."

"Exactly. But Tim is nice and he's going to be around a lot and help me."

"Is it okay for me to love your baby even though Tim isn't their daddy?"

Annie's heart clenches a little. "It's very okay."

"Okay." Angie squirms around to give Annie's belly a kiss and to say I love you

"Baby's going to love you so much sweet girl." Annie plays with Angie's hair.

Angela looks up at her and smiles. "I love you too, Annie."

"And I love you Angie, so much. I'm very glad Tim brought me to meet you."  
Annie can't imagine what it would be like if she hadn't met Tim, if she'd had no choice but to get rid of her baby.

Angie has run out of questions and is happy with Annie's answers and just snuggles up to her again. Afternoon cuddles are a regular thing between Angie getting home from school and dinner.

Sometimes Teddy joins them  
he doesn't have all the questions that Angie does  
he just wants to cuddle and feel the baby

Angie listens and watches and thinks a lot  
Teddy just wants cuddles and sometimes he asks about the baby  
like, how big is it, that sort of thing

Annie tells Shelagh about the questions Angie was asking her

Shelagh smiles a little sadly "I'm sorry if she upset you."

"She didn't, I just wasn't expecting it. I hope I didn't overstep anything with my answers."  
Annie sits at the kitchen table while Shelagh is making tea

"I'm sure you didn't," Shelagh tells her with a smile. "She asked, she's ready for at least some version of the truth. She's... very curious about families. She knows from her own life that families aren't as simple as they tell her in school."

"She asked me if I made my baby with Tim." Annie chuckles. "I told her no, that I made them with someone else who wasn't very nice to me."  
Shelagh touches her shoulder. "Oh, Annie. What did she say?"  
"She asked if I still see him, and when I told her no, she said that's good. You don't have to see people who aren't nice." Annie smiles at Shelagh when she brings the tea over and takes a seat "She also asked me if it's okay that she loves my baby even if it isn't Tim's"

Shelagh blows on her tea. She makes a soft noise. "Oh Angie."

"She is such a sweet little girl." Annie knows it's not just Angie, Tim is the same way, already loving a baby that isn't his. And his family has just pulled her in, made her one of their own

Shelagh nods. "She is." She's so so proud of the person both of her children are becoming.

Annie takes a sip of tea before setting it back down and staring into it for a little.  
"My life is not how I ever pictured it......but I can't imagine it being any other way now."

Shelagh touches her hand and then takes it in hers. "I can't imagine our lives without you either."

Annie has a hard time with talking about her feelings most of the time.  
Not like Janie, but Annie feels like she's being a burden to others.

don't bleed on others kind of thing  
stiff upper lip bullshit  
yes  
doesn't think people will /care/  
yes  
her parents never did  
none of their "friends" either  
Emotions were shameful and embarrassing  
yes  
Shelagh has never made her feel bad for her feelings  
Has held her when she's been sobbing, even from the second time she was at their home  
I have a lot of feelings about Annie's relationship with Shelagh  
Me toooo  
Shelagh's the first person to /congratulate/ her  
The first person to react with joy and happiness and excitement  
yes  
Shelagh's who she goes to for advice about the baby  
when she's uncertain about herself


	12. Bad Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Annette has had a bad week, they go to Poplar. Not to really do anything but to be around people who aren't judgmental. Especially after she's been kicked out of the school. When things are tough, Tim goes home, it's comforting. And just as they get in the door he explains to Shelagh that Annette doesn't want to talk, it's been a bad few days. He just wanted to bring her someplace safe and loving. Shelagh understands and doesn't force Annette to talk about anything.

Annette hides in Tim's old room. Being at the Turner's house is helping, but she needs to not be around people. But knowing that Tim and Shelagh are there for when she does, it helps. Patrick had taken Teddy and Angela to the park for a little and when they get home Angela is SO EXCITED to see Tim. And of course asks if Annie is there too. Tim tells her that she's not feeling well but is laying down in his room. Angela nods seriously stays to play with Tim and Teddy. 

After a little bit Angela sneaks off to Tim's room, and find Annette laying on her side. Angela quietly climbs onto the bed with her, facing her.   
"Hi sweet girl." Annette whispers, reaching out the hand that had been on her belly to brush through Angela's hair.   
"Timmy says you feel bad." Angela is trying to be super serious, she wants to know that Annie is okay.  
"My heart is a little sad today." Annette tells her, not really sure how to convey what she's feeling in a way that Angela can understand.   
"Will a cuddle help?" Angela asks.  
"A cuddle from you will always help." Annette smiles at her.   
Angela snuggles up close with her and Annie wraps her arm around her little body. 

Tim finds them like that when he goes to ask Annette if she feels up to joining them for supper. Angela has fallen asleep. And Tim finds himself wanting nothing more than to come home someday to find Annette curled up, cuddling their child instead of his little sister.  
Tim finds them and his chest does a complicated clenching thing looking at them sleep curled up together. The thought of Angela curled up with their baby, and maybe her expecting another baby... Annette opens her eyes and looks at him, smiles a little sleepily. "Hello, Tim." Her voice is low and a little rough from where she's been sleeping and quiet so as not to wake Angela. "She asked if cuddles would help."

Tim kneels down next to the bed and reaches over Angela to brush hair from Annette's face.   
"Did they?" He asks.   
"I think" Annette gives him a soft smile "She's very good at cuddles, baby is enjoying them too." She takes his hand and puts it on her belly, where he can feel the baby moving.   
"She'll be sad she's sleeping through feeling baby move. Are you up to eating?"  
Annette nods. "I will be out in a little while, going to see if I can get Angela awake too."  
Tim stands up and leans over to press a kiss to the top of Annette's head before leaving. 

Annette rubs Angela's back gently. "Angela, sweet girl, time to wake up." She tries to wake her slowly and gently.   
Angela blinks awake and makes muzzy sleepy noises and rubs her eyes. "Annie!" She yawns and leans forward to nuzzle under Annie's chin a little and then kiss her hello. She presses her little hands against Annie's chest. "Does your heart still hurt?"   
"No baby," Annie says with a smile. "No, cuddles made it better. I think, if you're quick, you might be able to feel baby," She whispers 

Angela's eyes go wide and she scrambles to place her hands on Annette's belly. After a few seconds the little girl feels the baby kick against her hands, which sends her into a fit of shrieking giggles. 

"How about we go and see what Mummy made for supper?" Annette asks her as she starts to sit up. Angela nods and hops off the bed, she's out of the room before Annette can even stand. 

Annette hears Angela shout that she got to feel the baby move and it makes her chuckle. 

Angela loves feeling the baby move. She did when Shelagh was pregnant with Teddy, even as a little, and with Trixie's children, and any other time she gets to feel a bbaby move. She thinks it's amazing and she'll be bragging about it at school for the next week. 

Annette follows her slowly down the stairs and finds everyone sitting at the table talking quietly. Tim turns around to face her as she comes into the room and he extends his hand to her. "Come sit down for supper, Annie." 

Shelagh gives her a quick hug as she sits next to her and Patrick gives her a bit warm smile. Angela is still shouting about feeling the bb and Teddy is listening to her with a serious little frown between his eyes like Tim gets when he's concentrating. Annette sits between Tim and Shelagh and accepts the plate they offer her. She's still amazed that she could spend the whole day not talking to anyone and still come down and enjoy a family dinner with no-one being weird

Conversation is light throughout dinner, no one pressures her to talk. Though she figures they know a little about what's happened over the past few days. She's sure Tim has told them. She stays quiet for the most part, focusing more on watching the interaction between the Turners. The uncertainty with her living situation and her being removed from school, it's weighing on her. But here, she feels lighter, knowing that there are people around her who are willing to help her carry it. 

No pressure to talk, and there's a little bit of work talk, because there always is, but it doesn't feel pointed or even about her situation; it's just how they are. She knows Tim tells Shelagh almost everything, and that Shelagh and Patrick share almost everything, so they likely know some of what happened, but that's okay. It just feels like a burden shared. And it also feels a little like she has somewhere to turn at the end of the day and somewhere she'll be welcomed no matter how she was feeling. 

Little Teddy shyly asking if he can feel baby too. Angela spent all of supper talking about it.He just like climbs up next to her on the couch, half on Tim's lap and asks if he can feel baby.  
Shelagh offers her ice water to make the baby move. Annette hesitates a little and then nods. "Please." She tries not to do it too often, it seems mean. She doesn't like the idea of startling the baby. No-one likes cold water tipped over their head or into their bath. But Teddy's serious little face makes her think it's probably okay, this once.  
"Give me your hand, little one," Annette says to Teddy  
Teddy looks at her with such a serious face and puts his hands on her belly.  
She takes the glass from Shelagh and takes a drink, and presses his little hands against her stomach some more. Repositioning them a little when she feels the baby move.  
"It's okay to press a little harder." His hands are barely touching her. "Baby is still really little so it might be hard to feel."  
His face lights up (and he looks so much like Tim) when he feels the baby move  
Annette grins brightly and laughs a little. He looks so, so amazed and delighted and he looks so much like Tim is makes her chest hurt a little. She wants her baby to look like Tim  
And is kind of terrified of him looking like Kenneth.  
"Did you feel baby? Keep touching and you might feel again." She takes another sip of water  
Teddy feels baby move again and he shrieks in laughter and looks up at Annie. "Baby moving Annie!"  
Annie smiles back at him and ruffles his hair a little. "Mmhmm. I can feel baby too. Feels nice, hmm?"  
Teddy leans his face down to her belly and gets super serious again. "Hi baby!" He nearly shouts and all of the grownups start laughing.Annie looks up at Tim and gives him the biggest smile.  
Tim is grinning back at her. "May I feel too?" He asks her and presses a hand to the side of her belly too. "I think baby is saying hello to you too, Ted."  
The baby kicks again and Teddy laughs even more. Angela wants to get in on the action too and climbs up on Annette's other side.  
After everything that happened that week, Annette couldn't believe she was so happy in this moment. Surrounded by five people who love her baby almost as much as she is, and who are as excited about it as she is, and Teddy's joy and excitement makes her chest feel warm and full up to overflowing. She starts tearing up it's just so much.

Teddy looks up at her and gets super concerned. "No crying Annie!" He puts his hands on her cheeks. "Baby moving!"  
Annie laughs his attempt to to cheer her up and takes his little hands in hers. "Happy tears little one, not sad tears. I promise."   
"Promise?" Teddy asks, still super serious.  
"I promise," Annie replies and kisses his palm and then blows little raspberries on it to make him laugh again. "Happy tears."  
Teddy puts his hands back on her belly and curls up so his head is resting against her bump.  
Still lying in Tim's lap. At some point Shelagh sneaked off to get the camera, and takes a picture  
She gets it printed and framed for Annette and it's one of her most treasured possessions. Her own face, Tim's grin, the back of Teddy's messy hair but the fact you can *feel* the joy coming off him, Angela's sweet little face.

Getting Teddy to bed was so hard. He didn't want to let go, he didn't want to leave Annie's side, even though he was half asleep and baby had stopped moving  
Annette pets his hair. "Baby has gone to sleep, Teddy. You should too."

Tim carries him up to bed after he falls completely asleep, his head still on Annie's belly.  
Annie is quiet after he's finally gone to bed, rubbing her belly a little.  
Patrick had excused himself after Tim, and left Shelagh and Annie alone

"When I found out I was pregnant.......I was so scared....and then with my parents and Kenneth...and everything that happened." she takes a steadying breath

Shelagh sits next to her and touches shoulders encouragingly.

"I felt...dirty. Wrong. Unloved. My own parents couldn't see past the fact that I got pregnant out of wedlock. But tonight, any time I'm here. I don't feel like that." She looks over at Shelagh.

Shelagh puts her arm around her. "I'm glad. You're one of us."


	13. Not Uncle Tim (pt 1)

Annette leans into Shelagh.  
"I've lost my place at school. I don't ‘fit the image they want for the university’ I suspect Kenneth is behind it. And my landlord has officially told me she no longer feels that she can rent to me in my condition."

Shelagh makes a rude noise. "Well that's bullshit. I can't think of anyone I'd want to represent my university more than you." She squeezes her gently. "Would you like help finding somewhere else to live? Patrick can take you to look around ... and you're welcome to Tim's room if you want it."

Shelagh strokes her hair away from her face.

Annie giggles at Shelagh swearing. She's heard it before but it was still amusing.  
"Tim...Tim offered his place. And I’ve nearly been living with him anyway. He even talked about finding a bigger place with more room for the baby."  
Shelagh smiles. She's not really surprised Tim offered. "I think that would be a lovely idea. What do you think?"

"I don't really know what I think."

"Do you want to talk it through?"

"What happens if he starts dating someone? I don't want him to feel obligated to me. That's why I turned down his proposal. But I don't want to be what stops him from finding love."

"Well... he can keep dating them. Plenty of roomates work out a system of discrete signals." Shelagh's being a little facetious but she means it. "You won't stop him finding love. He doesn't feel obligated."

Annie knows that Shelagh's feeding her a line. "We both know Tim won't bring any date back to an apartment we share. And he doesn't go out now. He...he has no other friends at university. He used to....before me."

Shelagh smiles a little. "Tim has no friends at university because he thinks they're all bores. I can show you the letters if you like. He used to go out. Mostly to meet up with you and your friends. Tim knows his own mind. If he wanted something to be different, he'd do something about it."

"He's too damn honorable to do anything different!" Annie doesn't know why she's suddenly angry. Talking as if she wants him to be with someone else.

"He is honourable. He's not a saint. Actually, most saints weren't saints."

"I know he loves me." Annie says it so quietly, Shelagh can barely hear it.

"He does." Shelagh's voice is equally as quiet

"I don't think I can return the same type of love. And he doesn't deserve to live without the kind of love that he gives being given back to him."

Shelagh is quiet. "Have you asked him what he wants?"

"I don't have to. I know every time he puts his hands on my belly. Every time he brings me here."

"I meant," Shelagh replies quietly, "Have you asked what he wants out of your relationship? I don't know about deserve - I think my son deserves the world - but I think what he wants is to be your friend. He knows you love him and he's happy with that. I don't think Tim is going to bring a date back to your shared flat. I don't think Tim is going to date. And I don't think he cares."

"I care! He so obviously wants a wife and a family and children of his own."

"He's also twenty," Shelagh points out quietly  
"So am I. And in three months I'm going to be a mother."

Shelagh nods. "You are. And Tim is going to be... Uncle Tim. His Mum's dear friend." Shelagh looks a little sad. "I don't know what the future will hold, but I do know Tim is happy right now."

"I don't want him to be Uncle Tim." Annie says, louder than she intended. She closes her eyes tight and is quiet again. "But I don't know if I can love him enough."  
Shelagh tries not to gasp. Finally getting where Annie is.  
Annie loves her son, and is terrified of losing him, so she's trying to find a way to keep him at arm's length. Shelagh is quiet while she thinks. Annette's breathing is loud and fast next to her.  
Annie just wants to curl up on the couch and hide her face in her knees. But her belly is too big  
So she just rubs her hands over her face.  
_____  
"I don't want him to be Uncle Tim."

The words stopped Tim in his tracks on the stairs. He'd been going down to see if Annie was alright. He hadn't been expecting to interrupt anything, especially not something of that magnitude. Grabbing onto the banister to keep himself upright, he forced himself to remain silent. He couldn't hear anything else, either they had stopped talking or were talking even quieter. 

He slowly made his way back to his room. Sitting down he put his head in his hands. Had he done something? Was she upset with him? Did she want him involved at all? The thoughts raced through his head.   
______

Shelagh disappears for a few moments and comes back with a large folded blankets. "Here. It helped when I was pregnant and wanted to hide."  
Annie lets Shelagh wrap the blankets around her.

Shelagh bunches the extra fabric up between her knees and her face so she can hide her face in it or hold into it. "There."  
She crouches down beside her and strokes her hair back. "Annie. Whatever happens between you and Tim, you will always be welcome here."  
This makes Annie sob. She just admitted to loving Shelagh's son and not knowing if she could love him enough to be his wife. And she's here comforting her.  
"Oh love..." She stays kneeling there and stroking her hair. "You're family. You and your small one. And you always will be."  
"I want to be good enough for him to love."  
"You are," Shelagh says, so fiercely it makes Annie jump. "You are good enough. Don't ever think you're not."  
"I can't love him the way he should be loved."  
"Darling, if you did not love him, you wouldn't be feeling this way."  
That makes Annie go quiet.  
"You wouldn't be so worried about it, if you didn't."  
Annie makes a quiet noise and burrows further into the blankets.  
Shelagh strokes her hair gently again and then leans forward to kiss her temple. Shelagh hasn't done that before.  
"Please don't tell him."  
"I won't. I promise."  
Shelagh gets up and sits next to Annie and pulls her close.  
Annie buries her face in Shelagh's stomach/lap and just sobs.  
Shelagh runs her fingers through Annie's hair.  
She starts singing softly. That makes her sob harder. She knows what the singing means. But it's - they're cathartic sobs.  
Everything from not just the past week but the past several months comes out in those tears  
Shelagh telling her that she is good enough. And saying it so fiercely.  
Finally saying out loud that she's in love with Tim, even if she doesn't feel like it's enough.

(How could she ever love him enough. It was this moment that Annie decided the baby's middle name is Timothy if it's a boy. Its when she started thinking of Tim as the baby's Dad, at least internally.)

Tim comes back downstairs now in his pajamas and sees Annie sobbing into Shelagh's lap.  
He looks at his mom and she gives him a slight shake of her head. Tim nods back at her and goes quietly back upstairs. He usually sleeps on the sofa when they stay over so Annie can take the bed. Patrick doesn't come down so Shelagh assumes that Tim said something to him.  
Eventually Annie sobs herself out.  
"Come on love, sit up. I'll make you some tea before bed. Your back won't thank you for sleeping like this." Shelagh says, running her hand over Annie’s shoulders.  
Annie rubs at her eyes and nods slightly. "Thank you."

Annie goes to change into a night dress but has to grab it from Tim's room, where her bag is.  
He's awake, sitting on the bed reading.  
He looks up from his bed and forces himself to smile. "Hey." He moves to get out of the bed.

"Hi" She says softly. Looking down at her hands.  
Tim stands up and wraps her in a hug. She clings to him a little, burying her face in his chest. He rubs her back. He pushes his swirling thoughts to the back of his mind.   
"Are you alright?" He asks her softly.  
She shakes her head against his chest. "No."  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
"Not really."  
"Okay." He squeezes her gently.  
"I'll let you go to bed."  
"You stay here. Your mum is making me some tea. I don't think I can sleep yet." She turns to her bag and rifles through it for her nightgown. "I'll take the couch this time."  
Tim feels his worry spike but nods. "Alright." He watches her stand up and leave to go to the bathroom to change.  
Annie comes back into the room to him laying back down reading again. She smiles softly before walking over and putting her worn clothes in her bag. She sits on the edge of the bed by his side and looks at him.  
"I'm not angry or upset with you. Not at all. I just had a very hard conversation with your mum and I still need time to be okay with it."

He looks at her and smiles warmly. "Thank you for telling me. Take however long you need."

She lifts his hand from his lap and brings it to her lips. She kisses his knuckles before getting up and telling him goodnight.

"Goodnight," Tim says quietly. 

Annette gets back downstairs and finds Shelagh in the kitchen pouring the tea.  
"Shelagh?" she asks quietly from the door. "Thank you."

Shelagh turns to look at her. "Any time, darling."

Annie walks over to her and takes one Shelagh's hands and places it on her belly. "I know you said no matter what I'm welcome here. And that means so much to me, more than I can put into words. But I want you to know that... No matter what, you are my baby's family."

Shelagh gasps softly and she gets teary. "Oh Annie..." Shelagh leans into her shoulder and leaves her hand pressed against her belly. "I would be so honoured. I love them already. So much."  
Shelagh's voice is so quiet, admitting it. For all she was worried about Tim being too attached... she really is too. Annie doesn't know what to say. Doesn't know if there is anything left to say

"And I love you, too." Shelagh gives her a quick hug and turns back to the tea.

That stuns Annie. Words she longed to hear from her own mother coming from woman who's barely known her 4 months. Babies are easy to love. But grown women?

Shelagh hands her the tea. "I’m sorry if that was too much," she tells her quietly.

"No not not at all." Annie stutters accepting the tea. "I just...i wasn't expecting it?"

Shelagh's expression goes soft. "You're family. I meant it. We love you so much." Shelagh takes her free hand.  
Annie smiles and takes a sip of her tea. "I...I love you too."

Shelagh keeps hold of her hand and they go back to the sofa.  
They drink their tea in silence. Annie's mind was anything but though.


	14. Flowers in the Park

Angela wakes Annie up on the couch. Shelagh told her to do so quietly and she does.   
Angela is so gentle and quiet, climbs up on the sofa and shakes her shoulder and uses her gentle voice like Mummy does when she wakes them up. "Annie and baby, time to wake up." 

Helping Shelagh make breakfast and set the table feels comfortable, even after the discussion from the previous night, maybe because of it. And when Tim and Patrick come down, neither of them act as if anything had happened the night before. Tim doesn't press Annette for an explanation, and Patrick knows Shelagh will tell him if he needs to know. 

Annie's heart feels lighter, having said out loud what she's been feeling. Even if it wasn't to the person she feels it about. 

She expected it to be awkward, maybe tense, but it's not - Shelagh is the same as she always is, Tim and Patrick respectful but as kind as always, and it's easier to let herself relax into it, having told Shelagh the worst thing she probably could and find she's still being welcomed, and cared for, and trusted with their precious children. 

Teddy is still sleepy eyed and tousle haired when Tim brings him downstairs and he reaches immediately for Annie. 

Annie takes him carefully from Tim's arms and gives him a big hug. "Good morning Teddy."  
Teddy just grumbles and rests his head on Annie's shoulder.   
Shelagh chuckles "He's not a fan of mornings."   
"Do you want cuddles a little longer before eating?" Annie asks him and he nods against her. She takes him to the couch and sits down with him on as much of her lap as she can.   
"Careful. Baby." Teddy says quietly and moves to make sure he's not squishing the baby.   
Annie watches him settle back down against her and runs her fingers through his hair. "Baby is okay Teddy, thank you for being careful."

Teddy nods against her, head resting against her belly again. "Careful with baby," he mumbles and dozes against her a little, one of his little hands resting on the her bump. "Baby sleeping?"   
"Yes sweetheart, baby sleeping." Teddy nods and presses a sleepy baby kiss to her belly and babbles nonsense.

Patrick comes to fetch them after a few minutes. "Breakfast is served. Come on, Teddy."

Annie coaxes the little boy up and goes to the table with him. He sits down and starts on his breakfast while Annie joins Tim and his parents. 

Breakfast chatter is the usual, Patrick talking about the people he has to see that day, Shelagh talking about what she has planned to occupy Angela and Teddy. Annie offers to hang around the house with her and the little ones, and Tim asks Patrick if he can tag along. 

By the time breakfast is over, Teddy is fully awake and ready to play. 

Angela asks to please be excused from the table and Patrick nods. She darts way into the living room, followed by Teddy, and they can hear them chattering to each other and shouting and laughing. "Sounds like they're playing doctors," Shelagh says with a grin and a chuckle. "And nurses." Patrick adds, grinning a little at Angela telling Teddy she's already TOLD him what the problem is, DOCTOR. 

Angela comes zooming back into the room, clutching her toy stethoscope. "Daddy!" 

Patrick scoops her up to find out what the problem is, apparently Teddy wasn't playing doctors and nurses the right way, and Annie slips out of the kitchen to go get dressed for the day. 

She comes out of the bathroom fully dressed and washed up to find Tim in his room, making sure he has what he needs for the day doing rounds with his dad.

"Hi." Annie whispers almost shyly. 

Tim gives her a big grin and walks over to her. "Hi. Are you feeling better today?" He stands in front of her, wanting to hug her but not wanting invade her space. 

"A little." She gives him a smile. "I'm looking forward to spending the day with your mum and the little ones. I don't think I'll be able to stay in a sour mood for long with them."

Tim's smiles goes soft and warm. "Yeah, it's pretty hard to stay mad when you're around them." He raises the bag of things he has - one of the ones the nurses use, repaired and re-purposed to hold all the things he needs for doing rounds and to hold some of his school stuff, a gift from Nonnatus when he started university. "Have fun. I think we're pretty much ready to go." 

She nods and touches his shoulder. "Be safe, Tim." She wants to hug him but she still feels a little tender and raw from talking to Shelagh last night. "I'll see you tonight?" 

Tim takes her hand from his shoulder and brings it to his mouth, kissing the back of it lightly. "Of course." He lets go of her hand and drops his down to her belly. "Be good for Mummy." He says quietly before turning and leaving. 

Annette drops down onto the bed, trying not to let her emotions take over again. Why can't she just let herself freely love him? Every time he does something small and simple like talking to her belly she falls even further. 

Every time he takes her hand, or talks to her belly, or brings her a cup of tea... it should be so easy to love him without reserve. And yet. 

When she comes down from trying to get her emotions back under control Tim and Patrick have already left. Shelagh is combing Angela's hair and she smiles at Annie when she comes into the room. "Could you help Teddy get dressed? He needs a little help with his buttons." Teddy has his shorts and shirt on but is struggling with his shirt buttons and with his jumper. He looks up at her with big eyes. "Help, Annie???" 

Annie giggles and the disheveled little boy and kneels down in front of him. The jumper is around his neck sideways so the sleeves are down his front and back. She buttons his shorts for him and pulls the jumper back up over his head.   
"Arms up!" Annie says as she sorts out the jumper.   
Teddy jumps and sticks his arms straight up in the air. She shimmies the sleeves down his arms and gets his head through the hole. She tugs it down into place and giggles when Teddy keeps his arms up. She tickles his underarms which sends him into a fit of squirming laughs. 

Shelagh is watching them with a warm smile. Angela darts away from her as soon as she finishes putting the bow in her hair and runs over to Annie and puts her arms up as well. "Me too! Me too!" Annie tickles her gently too and Angela and Teddy both shriek with laughter and giggle at each other. 

"There, all done." Annie stands back up with a little wince and rubs her back. She smiles at Shelagh. "What's the plan for today?"

"The park for a little I think, and then lunch with Sister Julienne and anyone else around Nonnatus for the day." Shelagh replies. 

Annie goes to the couch and sits down and is immediately climbed upon by Teddy and Angela. Teddy is all but on her lap, and Angela is on her side. Shelagh joins them and Angela leans into her mother. 

"Lunch with Sister Julienne! Can we go now?" Angela asks excitedly, bouncing on her knees. 

"We've only just had breakfast silly girl." Shelagh laughed. "Sister is expecting us for lunch." 

Angela gave her mother an exaggerated pout. 

Shelagh laughs. "Perhaps we can leave the park a little bit early, hmm?" She smiles at Annie over her head. 

Teddy is starting to fidget a little where he's sitting mostly in Annie's lap. "Park please?" He's all full up of energy after a good night's sleep and his breakfast. 

They make sure everyone is dressed in proper shoes and in their coats and everyone's faces are clean and then set out for the park. It feels nice to walk in the fresh air, and both Teddy and Angela are holding Annie's hand as they walk. Shelagh is greeted several times as they walk, and a few people stop to greet the children and exclaim at how big they've gotten. Annie is startled to realise that a few people have stopped to talk to her too, greeting her by name and not just because she's walking with Shelagh. 

It never fails to amaze her that people here are so kind and friendly. At the park she takes a seat with Shelagh as they watch Angela and Teddy run around and play. 

"For someone who didn't want to wake up today, Teddy sure has a lot of energy." Annette laughs, watching him chase after his sister. 

"He's a little sleepy head in the mornings. Not sure where he got that from." Shelagh laughs as well. She still gets up with the sun most days, and Patrick usually gets up shortly after she does. Angela picked up on the habit as well, but Teddy is a heavy sleeper and hard to wake up. 

"Tim's the same," she tells Shelagh, and then blushes a little at how that sounds. "He's always up in time for class, or to help me, but if I let him be when he stays over ... he can sleep until noon." She sounds warm, and is trying to ignore how full it makes her heart feel, to be talking about Tim like this, like she knows him, domestic and comfortable. Tim used to get up early when he was at home even at weekends, when it might be his only chance to see his parents all day.   
Shelagh laughs a little. "He idolises his big brother."

Annie smiles softly, "I can see that. And I know Tim adores him." She runs her hand over her belly thinking about how she can't wait for her little one to join the world. She knows that Angela and Teddy are going to be so attached and her baby will grow up close with them. Thoughts about Tim and her baby fill her mind, and seeing him with Teddy and Angela, she can see him so well with her child. Playing and cuddling and caring. 

Shelagh watches Annette as she thinks, knowing that the young woman's mind is probably going a mile a minute. 

Teddy loves his sister too, and listens to her seriously and follows her around everywhere, but it was Tim who he shadowed as soon as he could walk, and who he emulates as much as he can. Teddy and Angela will be closer, but Teddy will always look up to him as the kind of man he wants to be. 

Shelagh is quiet and lets Annette think, just takes her hand on the bench while she watches her children play and make friends with the other kids in the playground, which they always manage. 

"This is the life I want for my baby." Annette says, turning to look at Shelagh. "Other children to play with, people who love them. I think part of me is afraid that what I'm feeling for Tim is because of the baby and hormones." Annette looks down, no longer able to meet Shelagh's gaze. 

"They'll have it," Shelagh tells her gently and squeezes her hand. "You will love your baby. Your baby will have friends, and so many people who love it." Shelagh is quiet. "Maybe some of it's the hormones, a little bit. But I don't think so. They heighten feelings, they don't completely make them up." 

Annette rubs at her eyes with her free hand. "I just...... don't feel like I can trust anything I'm feeling. I can't really explain it."

Shelagh regards her for a moment, forming the words in her brain before saying them. "I think I can understand that. Before I left the order, when I was at the sanatorium, and even before that. I was trying my hardest to ignore what I felt for Patrick. A lot of time was spent wondering if I could trust my own heart or if it was a test of my faith and vows"

Annette furrows her brow at Shelagh, she'd known about the leaving the order because she fell in love. But Shelagh rarely talked about the decision process. 

"What did you do? How did you decide." Annie asks her. 

"I prayed," Shelagh says quietly. "I spoke to Sister Julienne. I did not even read Patrick's letters for so long... Tim sent me a butterfly, asked if the Doctor could give him a diagnosis." She laughs a little, but it sounds a little wet and her voice is pained. "I was so afraid." She takes her hand from Annie's so she could wring them in her hands. "It was - it was Tim. Tim's letters." When she tried to think about Patrick it got all tangled up, everything she's been taught about lust and sex and temptation, but thinking about Tim-and-Patrick, about family - it felt like the most natural thing in the world, the right thing, where God wanted her to be and where she wanted to be. That little boy and his Dad - that couldn't be wrong. 

Shelagh smiles at her a little. "I'm sorry that's not very helpful. It took a long time. While I was being treated for TB."

"No it's...I don't have that faith in God, I wish I did...I used to. I don't even know if I know how to pray anymore." Annie focuses on her hands. Annette swallows thickly. "Can you pray for me?" Her voice is barely a whisper. 

"Oh Annie, I already do." Shelagh gives her a gentle smile.

Annie smiles sadly and bumps their shoulders together. "Look at us. Crying in the park." Her voice is light and she laughs a little. "I think maybe I just need to talk through it with someone else." 

Shelagh nods. "Of course. I hope you find someone. If you ever want to try and pray again.. I'm happy to help." 

Teddy and Angela run back over at that point ,Teddy with a few daisies in his little hands. "Annie!!! Pretty flowers!!"

"Those are very pretty flowers Teddy!" Annie smiles at the little boy.   
He holds the flowers out to her. "Pretty flowers for pretty Annie!" 

"Oh why thank you sweet boy." She takes the flowers from him and sticks one in her hair. "What do you think? Look good?" She turns her head so he can see it better. Teddy nods happily and climbs up onto the bench with her. 

"Can you put one in my hair too?!" Angela asks, bouncing on her toes in front of Annie. "And in Mummy's hair!"

Annie sticks a flower into the elastic holding Angela's hair out of her face and hands another to Shelagh.   
Shelagh tucks her flower behind her ear and smiles and Annie threads one of the stems through a button on Teddy's coat. "There we go. Now we all match!" Teddy laughs and takes the last daisy and puts it on Annie's coat over her stomach. "For baby too!" 

Annie ruffles his hair. "Yes. For baby too." 

"I think," Shelagh says with a smile, watching them, "It's time for lunch."  
Angela and Teddy cheer and pull at Shelagh and Annie to get them to stand. Annette tucks the flower Teddy put on her belly into one of the button holes so it would still be baby's flower, much to Teddy's delight.


	15. Lunch at Nonnatus

The walk to Nonnatus was peaceful. Teddy and Angela would run ahead a little, and then run back to the grown ups. And every so often someone would greet Shelagh or Annette. 

When they got to Nonnatus, Angela made a beeline to the kitchen to find Sister Julienne. 

"There is no secret that Sister Julienne is Angela's favorite." Shelagh laughs when she hears her daughter shout the Sister's name. 

"I think she might be Sister Julienne's favourite, too," a voice says and Shelagh turns around to give Trixie a big hug. "After Shelagh, of course," Trixie continues with a wink. 

"Oh shush," Shelagh chides, but she's smiling and looking pleased. 

"Nice to see you, sweetie," Trixie says to Annette. "I'm just on my way out, but it's lovely to see you." Trixie waves to them and goes out to do her rounds and Shelagh leads Annie through to the kitchen to where Sister Julienne is kneeling to talk to Angela, Teddy following them. 

"Good afternoon Sister." Shelagh greets Sister Julienne walking over to her and offering her a hand as she stands back up. 

Sister Julienne pulls Shelagh into a hug. "Good afternoon, Shelagh. I'm so glad you could join us today." She turns to Annie. "And you as well Annette, it's always such a pleasure to have you here."

Annie smiles and walks over to Sister Julienne and gives her a quick hug.   
Sister Julienne smiles warmly and gestures for Annette to sit down with a hand on her elbow. "I believe we have some sandwiches and some cake left," she says with a smile and helps Teddy get up into a chair next to Annette. "And what lovely flowers you all have," she adds. 

"For baby too," Teddy tells her and points to the flower in Annette's button hole. "I got to feel baby!" 

Sister Julienne smiles wide and Teddy, making her face overly animated for his amusement. "You did?! That's wonderful." 

Annette reaches out to ruffle Teddy's hair. "He fought going to bed because he was so enamored by it." She chuckled softly. 

Sister Julienne comes back to the table with lunch and starts the prayer. Annette sits there fidgeting with her fingers nervously. 

Shelagh notes and reaches over to squeeze her hand in her lap carefully, knowing Sister Julienne would notice but wouldn't say anything. She smiles at Annette reassuringly, trying to get across to her that she'll pray on her behalf, and it's alright. Angela and Teddy have their heads bowed and won't know anything. 

"May I pour the tea?" Angela asks once the prayers are over. She's been practicing at home 

"As long as you're very careful love. And let me help by holding the cups." Shelagh agrees. Angela nods and very very carefully pours tea into the cups her mum held. 

Lunch passes quickly in a flurry of happy chatter between the little ones and Sister Julienne. Annette picks carefully at her food, her stomach unsettled from her emotions. 

Annette offers to clean up the dishes and is surprised she's not waved away. She takes the tableware to the kitchen to clean up. 

With Annette in the kitchen and out of earshot, Sister Julienne looks at Shelagh seriously. 

"Is everything alright? She seems a little more reserved than usual." Sister Julienne asks, not in search of gossip, but wanting to know if she can in some way help. 

Shelagh smiles sadly and watches Teddy run off to "help" Annie. She sighs. "Just been an emotional few days. And a little discomfited by prayer." Shelagh understands, a little, how it can be difficult to pray when you're feeling unsure about yourself and your decisions and your morality. "I think perhaps she's a little lonely."

Sister Julienne nods in understand. "It must be hard, does she have people she can confide in outside of your family?"

"Not that I am aware of." Shelagh tells her sadly. "Her parents won't let her speak to her sisters. The friends she had at university did not want to stay friends with someone in her condition." Shelagh makes an unpleasant face at that. 

"Perhaps....." Sister Julienne thinks for a moment. "There is a young soon to be mother who has attended some of the classes at the clinic. From what I've been told, she moved here with her husband's family. And she isn't really seen out other than to appointments and classes."

Shelagh looks thoughtful. "Oh! I think that might be perfect... Could you introduce them?" Annette doesn't usually stay for the classes, but it sounds like a wonderful idea. 

Sister Julienne nods. "Of course! I would be happy to. I think it would suit them both well." 

Annette reenters the dining room and sees Sister Julienne and Shelagh in deep conversation. Teddy breaks it up by running over to Shelagh and crashing himself into her legs. 

"You silly boy." She laughs and picks him up. "Now that lunch is over, what we should do?" Shelagh asks him. 

Teddy's face goes super serious as he focuses on the question and how he wants to answer. "Go see Daddy!"


	16. Exam Room

"You want to see if Daddy made it to his surgery on time?" Shelagh asks, standing up and adjusting to have him on her hip. Teddy nods happily. 

Making sure they have everything they came in with, the group leaves Nonnatus and heads to Patrick's surgery, with the extra sandwiches Sister Julienne made sure they left with for the boys.

Shelagh pushes the door to the surgery open carefully and looks around, nodding to the part time secretary they hired so that Shelagh could stay at home and care for Teddy with a smile. "Is he in?" 

She nods. "Just taking a tea break. It's been quiet today - go on through." Angela takes off into Patrick's office as soon as she has permission. "Daddy! Daddy!" 

Patrick looks up as she comes in and grins delightedly at her, face going soft and picking her up to sit in his lap. "Hello, sweet girl." He looks up and smiles as the other three come in at a slower pace. "How was the park? Sister Julienne is well?" 

Angela chatters at Patrick about the park and the kids she played with and lunch with Sister Julienne and the flowers that Teddy picked.   
Shelagh takes the sandwiches from her bag and sets them on Patrick's desk.   
"Tim is probably in the exam room." Shelagh whispers to Annette. 

Annette nods and slips out of the room to find Tim. 

Tim is sitting in the exam room going through his notes from that morning and looks up when the door opens. His whole face lights up when he sees who it is and he sits up straight, putting his notes down. "Hi, Annie." 

"Hi," she says with a small smile and goes to lean against the table next to him. "Teddy got us all flowers, including the baby." She gestures to them. "And Sister Julienne sent you sandwiches." 

"Thank you," Tim replies warmly and takes the bag. "How was your day?" 

"Really nice. I know last night was.....tense. But today helped put a lot of things into perspective for me. And gave me a few things to think about." She takes the flower out of her jacket buttonhole and tucks it behind Tim's ear.

He smiles at her and shakes his head at her antics. 

"I'm glad, that being here helps you." He leans back in the chair, slouching a bit, and looks at her thoughtfully. "I just...I want you to know that I care about you, and if there's anything you need to talk about, I'm here."

Annie looks at him with a mixture of shock and sadness. Did he really think she didn't want to talk to him? Or that she didn't know he cared?

"Tim, I know you care about us-" Annie starts. 

Tim stands up and moves to be right in front of her. Not in a threatening way, just so he could look her in the eye more easily.   
"I don't mean..." Tim takes a breath and frowns in concentration, getting the same little lines between his eyes that Teddy does. The look melts Annie's heart and she has to look down, not wanting him to see her adoration. "Annie, it's not just because of the baby that I care about you."

Annie's breath catches in her throat and she looks up at him again. Her heart beating faster than it should be. She can feel the words she doesn't want to say coming up her throat. "Tim I--" 

The door bangs open and Angela and Teddy come running in. Tim takes a quick step back from Annie, and looks to the door. Where Shelagh is standing with a look on her face that he can't read. 

Tim swallows and looks away from her face. He doesn't want to look at her expression again and see disappointment or anger in his mother's face. Instead he kneels down to talk to Teddy and Angela, who are tugging on his sleeves and telling him all about the park and Sister Julienne. Teddy smiles at the flower behind his ear and Tim picks him up and sits at his chair with his brother in his lap, Angela sitting on the table next to him. When he looks up again, Annette's expression has calmed and Shelagh is smiling at them. 

"So," Tim starts, "Annie was telling me you had a good day?"


	17. Tim's Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat bits with us talking about Tim's guilt after the previous chapter

OMG Tim has so much guilt over falling in love with Annie  
He feels like a creep

after that moment in the exam room  
he feels even worse

Maybe he mistook her surprise as fear  
and the look on Shelagh's face  
maybe she heard  
or he thinks she did  
The blank look  
it was concern for annie  
because Shelagh saw how close they were  
and was unsure what was happening  
and didn't want annie doing anything brash  
Blank because she was trying to work out what the situation was  
But Tim feels horrible  
oh man  
maybe he stops cuddling her, or taking/kissing her hand  
If she comes to him he will welcome her, obviously, but  
he holds back  
And Annie is confused

and Annie notices. and wonders if he heard any of what she and shelagh had been talking about

or maybe he just has found someone else?  
he does have some friends  
they're both operating under assumptions  
I think eventually she talks to him  
she does  
she wouldn't have, before, but....  
she misses him  
she’s seen that talking is good  
being close to him  
like an ache

she ends up moving in with him during that time frame though

because they both realize that she needs a place to live  
even if they are at somewhat of odds with each other

she can't work, and she can't pay rent, even if she could find someone who'd house her

She tells him that Shelagh offered her his old room  
there's a lot of like, not being home when the other is or keeping to separate rooms

mm I think that's when they talk  
Tim thinks she's saying she needs to move out

that she's uncomfortable living with him  
and she's thinking he doesn't want to live with her  
especially since he's been pulling back

also, like, GOD, we talk about Annie's guilt but he must be feeling all sorts of messed up about it and mostly not talking about it, either. like... guilty for even fancying her in the first place, guilty for the way he thinks about her, guilty for how he feels when she's cuddling with him on the couch, the way he wishes *so desperately* the baby was his, that he could *have this*, his fear she'll notice and be disgusted with him and he'll break her trust, but the horrible gnawing guilt that he's lying to her by not telling her, even though surely she *must* know...


	18. Not Uncle Tim (pt 2)

"I don't want him to be Uncle Tim."

The words stopped Tim in his tracks on the stairs. He'd been going down to see if Annie was alright. He hadn't been expecting to interrupt anything, especially not something of that magnitude. Grabbing onto the banister to keep himself upright, he forced himself to remain silent. He couldn't hear anything else, either they had stopped talking or were talking even quieter. 

He slowly made his way back to his room. Sitting down he put his head in his hands. Had he done something? Was she upset with him? Did she want him involved at all? The thoughts raced through his head. 

Sleep did not come easily to him that night. He could feel his heart breaking at the idea that Annie didn't want him in her child's life.   
___ ___ ___

Getting back to her apartment the next day he knew he had to talk to her. And Annie could sense something was wrong. At Patrick's surgery, they had almost kissed, would have done if they hadn't been interrupted. The thought of kissing him made Annie's heart beat faster. What had changed in just those few hours? 

But for a couple of weeks, they could hardly be in the same room together without it being tense. Annie was still trying to come to terms with her feelings for Tim, and Tim feeling like he did sometime to make her feel uncomfortable. Had their conversation in his dad’s surgery made her feel like he was invading her space? Was living with him making her uncomfortable? He tried to give her space, hoping that she’d come to him to talk. But she just seemed to move further away from him. 

Tim was making tea while Annie was sitting at the table looking through the listings for rooms in the paper. The fact that she was looking for a place to live when his flat had an extra bedroom and he had offered it to her as a long term solution multiple times over the past few days was getting to Tim. And she had yet to tell him that she didn't want him involved. 

Setting the tea down on the table Tim sat next to Annie and watched her going over the rental adverts. 

"Annie, you don't have to be going through the paper for a place to live." Tim said gently, passing her a cup of tea. He may be getting bothered with her for not taking up his offer, but he couldn't bring himself to show her his anger. 

"Don't be silly, of course I do." She sighed and tossed down her pen. "I can't afford any of these rooms."

"There is a room, right here rent free for you and your baby. You know that." Tim reminded her.

"Tim, I can't ask you to keep -" 

"You're not asking anything! I want you to live here, why can't you see that?" Tim can feel the anger bubbling, why is she being so difficult about this. His feelings about what he heard her say to his mum rushed through his mind. 

His sudden outburst shocked Annie, he'd never taken that tone with her. She knew he wouldn't hurt her but she couldn't help shrinking back. 

"Tim...." Annie starts, not looking at him. "I can't keep relying on you for everything. I appreciate, more than you could ever know, everything you've done for us." She places her hand on her belly. Her conversation with Shelagh swirling in her mind. Not wanting to force Tim into being tied to her forever, because of someone else's child. Not wanting to be in the way of him finding love, or even just dating. She stands up to take her now empty tea cup to the sink. 

"Have I done something?" Tim asks her. 

Annie looks over at him, surprised he would even ask that. "Of course not Tim, you have been amazing I--"

"Then why don't you want me to be Uncle Tim?" The sound of pain in Tim's voice makes Annie's heart clench. 

"What are you-?" It dawns on her, he had heard her talking to his mum. Annie's eyes go wide with the realization. 

"I heard you. I heard you tell my mum that you don't want me to be Uncle Tim." His voice is quiet, Annie can tell he's trying to keep his emotions in check. "Please tell me what I've done, have I made you uncomfortable?"

"Tim, it's not-" She realizes then that he hadn't heard it all. He hadn't heard what followed that. Her heart clenches again. He only heard the beginning. Nothing about how she's falling in love with him, how she wants him to be her child's daddy. How she's terrified of keeping him from finding love because she's not sure she can offer him that. 

"Then what is it? You are my best friend. And I can't imagine my life without the two of you in it. What happened why don't you want me to be Uncle Tim?" He's talking fast, barely taking a breath. "Why would you talk to my mum about it instead of me? What can-"

"Because I want you to be Daddy!" Annie shouts and her hands fly to her mouth in slight horror at having shouted it. 

Tim stopped and looked up at her. "What?" He's not sure he heard her right, even though she shouted. 

"I don't want you to be Uncle Tim because I want you to be Daddy." Annie hadn't wanted the conversation to go this way. She didn't want it to come out in anger. "You didn't hear everything I was talking to your mum about." She tells him softly. "You have been here from the beginning and I know you love us, and I want you to be Daddy."

"I want ... I want that. I want..." his voice trails off "I thought I'd ..."

Annie walks over to him and pulls his hands to her, resting them on her belly. "I need you in my life Timothy. We both do."  
Tim's eyes fill with tears and his voice cracks. "I need you too. Both of you."

In this moment she wants to kiss him so badly it hurts. But she knows that wouldn't be fair. She doesn't know if she can be there for him on the emotional level he deserves. At least not yet.

"I thought I'd made you uncomfortable," Tim murmurs quietly

She leaves her hands on his, over their child. "Not at all. I thought maybe you didn't want me here. That...that I had done something wrong...or you found someone who can" She looks down at their hands. "Someone who can give you the love you deserve. Because I can't do that....not...not yet."  
Tim exhales harshly. He doesn't want to stop touching her belly but he turns his hands over to tangle their fingers. "Any way you love me is enough," Tim says quietly. “I'm sorry you thought you'd done something wrong. There isn't anyone else."

Annie's chest is aching, and the tears start again. "I have a lot of things I need to work through....there's a lot going on in my brain about feelings and guilt and hating myself." She gives him a look that quiets the protest she hears him start. "You deserve someone who can give you the world. And right now, that's not me. I need to convince myself that I'm enough before I really can be that for you."

This is one the hardest conversations she's ever had. And even though she feels her heart aching, she's also feeling lighter. Talking to him about the feelings she's been holding in for weeks is freeing. Tim hears where she’s coming from, she loves him. And that makes his heart beat faster and his stomach flip. But she’s nervous and afraid and not ready to be in a relationship with him.   
Tim looks her in the eyes and then nods. "Okay. I understand." He squeezes her hands gently  
He takes a deep breath and presses their foreheads together.  
Annie lets out a giggle and puts his hand back on her belly. "Baby wanted in on this conversation too."  
Tim laughs and presses his hands against her belly, and his face goes all broken open when he feels the baby kick against his palm. "Hello, baby."  
He drops down to his knees and lifts Annie's shirt up. He can see the tight skin of her belly moving with the baby. He presses a soft kiss to where he just saw a little foot.   
"What do you think about me being Daddy?"  
Annie gasps softly at the kiss and the question, and then grunts a little and giggles. She strokes a hand through his hair, brushing it back off his face. "I think that was a yes."  
They stay like that for a little while. Tim with his face close to her belly, and her hands in his hair.  
"Tim?" She waits until he looks up at her. "Where's your stethoscope?"  
They haven't listened to the baby together since that visit to Poplar.  
He's given it to her a few times, had left it out in the living room. Tim smiles at her and stands up to go get it from his bag.

___

They end up falling asleep on the couch together. Annie had been leaning against the arm with her legs over Tim's lap. At some point during the night Tim had shifted sideways a bit and was laying between Annie and the back of the couch, his head near her chest. In the early hours of the morning, Tim woke up with a crick in his neck and was slightly embarrassed by where his head had fallen. But he realized that Annie was not awake to notice. 

Tim sat up and tickled the bottom of Annie's foot to wake her. 

"Annie, we fell asleep on the couch. Let's get you to the bed."

Annie's leg jerked away from Tim's hand and her eyes shot open, glaring at him. It took her a few seconds to register what he had said before she nodded a little and moved to stand up. Eyes half open Annie trudged off to Tim's bedroom with Tim behind her. He made sure she got into the pajamas she kept at his place and then onto the bed before going to grab a spare blanket to take back to the couch. 

"Stay. Please?" She mumbled quietly. 

"Ok." Tim said, he put stripped to his undershirt and pants and put on pajama bottoms before getting into the bed with her. 

Tim tried to stay a respectable distance away from Annie, but she reached her hand back to him to grab his. She pulled his hand towards her, making him scoot closer. When she was satisfied with where he was, she placed Tim's hand on her belly and leaned back against him. 

The feeling of Tim holding her sent warmth throughout Annie's body. They'd cuddled before, but this felt different. Tim pressed a kiss to the back of Annie's head and relaxed against her, his fingers drawing patterns on her belly.


	19. Snippets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not long enough to warrant their own chapters

_______________________  
Tim palpating her belly   
______________________

I am having feelings about Tim being a little shy and nervous and Shelagh showing him how to do it and telling him he can press a little more firmly, laughing with delight at Tim's face when he gets it right. "There. Tim says hello, little one." Which makes Annie laugh too. 

He's so happy when he gets it right, and he's able to feel how the baby is positioned and Shelagh walks him through doing it and where the head is versus rump. And, "Tim you have to use a firm hand, there's a lot of muscle between you and baby." 

After Shelagh’s taught him how to do it and he’s confident that he can do it on his own, it becomes nearly a nightly thing between him and Annie.

________________  
Moving  
________________  
Tim and Annie find a small row home, with two bedrooms. One for Tim, and one for Annie and the baby. It’s a nice little two story with a small back garden, and with Shelagh and Patrick’s help, it’s within their budget.  
___________________  
Taking Exams Early   
___________________

having feels about the idea of Tim asking to take his exams early so he doesn't miss the baby’s birth. He will most likely be done for the term but doesn’t want to chance it. And most of his profs are okay with it, there's probs just one who's a dick

Tim just shrugs and goes to talk to the Dean about it. It's not a critical class and they organise a way for him to make up the grade at a later date He'll survive this one missed exam if the lecturer carries on being a dick. Maybe the lecturer is bros with whatever sports team Kenneth is on. Like, he was on the team when he was at university etc. Tim would fail all his classes and repeat the year before he missed the birth. 

Honestly, Tim would drop everything to be there for Annie and Daniel. He'd rather flunk out of school entirely than miss something as important as his son being born.   
For a gen-ed prof, he's a little stuffed about his department, thinks his is so important. Definitely in the pocket of Kenneth's crowd.   
Tim goes to the deal and is just like "look, I'm about to be a father and I'm willing to fail this class if it means I'm not missing my child's birth. But I would much rather take the exam early and not fail."   
He gets to take the exam early.

The Dean is a bit -.- and just overrules the prof, especially when Tim starts gearing up for one of his pitches, the kind he learned from Patrick facing the Health Board.


	20. July 15th, 1966

Annie goes into labor on a disgustingly hot day in July. At first, she just chalked her discomfort up to the heat and the fact that she’s five days overdue. Tim is out at the store, getting ice and a new fan, because just one in each room was not helping. Bless his soul, he offered to go out and get her another for her room so she could at least be somewhat cool. It wasn’t until early in the afternoon the pain was increasing and coming at more regular intervals. 

Heaving herself up off the bed, Annie makes it to the door and calls down to Tim, asking him to come up to her. Before she could make it back to the bed a contraction sent her doubling over and leaning against the wall for support. 

At her shout of his name, Tim jumps where he’s reading on the sofa. Not even bothering to close his book he darts up the stairs taking them two a time. 

“Are you alright?” Worry is filling his voice. 

Annie rolls her eyes a little at his worry the breathlessness from running up the stairs.   
She nods and pushes back up from the wall.   
“I need you to call Nonnatus.” She gives him a small smile.   
He can't help the grin that breaks out. "Really?"

"Yes really. Looks like someone is finally ready to meet us." 

Tim helps her back to the bed before bounding back down the stairs. On the phone, Tim has to hold the receiver away from his ear when Carol, one of the newer midwives, shouts excitedly for Trixie. And he has to hold it even further away at Trixie’s reaction. 

In record time Trixie is at their flat and teasingly scolding Annie for not having called her sooner. 

Annie grins. "What can I say? I know how fast you cycle. Little one's impatient to meet us."  
Tim comes back upstairs once he's rang his mum and dad.  
Raps lightly on the door. Annie said he wanted him there, but it's different when it's actually happening.

Annie can't imagine doing this without him by her side  
She calls for him to come in and he enters slowly, wanting to give Annie time to cover up if she needs to. 

Trixie looks amused. Annie extends her hand to him, though.   
"Get over here, you."  
At her last check up, Annie had brought up the possibility of Tim not just being there, but helping Trixie. She knew that it would mean the world to Tim. It would be a great story, the first baby he helped deliver was his own son. 

And she can't helping thinking a little about getting to tell her baby that their Daddy had always been there. In every sense.  
Tim was stunned.  
He knew she wanted him with her when she gave birth, but he thought that he would be holding her hand or sitting behind her like his dad when Teddy was born. Mostly trying not to get in Trixie's way.  
He knows the issue of Men in the Birth Room is one Trixie is fairly progressive about but even so. She has been known to banish men from the *street* a mother is giving birth in.

Trixie might kick him out to the hallway when she checks dilation, but only if Annie is uncomfortable with him there.  
And she isn't.   
Or well, a little bit, in the sense that Trixie checking dilation is a bit uncomfortable in general.  
But not because Tim's there, it's easier to relax with Tim by her side.   
Tim keeps her hand in his throughout the checks, and lets her crush his fingers without complaint when contractions hit.   
Shelagh gets there in the evening, after Angie and Teddy have been given dinner.

Shelagh arrives and calls up to them, Trixie calls that all's well and moving like clockwork, and Annie asks, quiet and small   
"Can - can she come in?"

Trixie looks to Annie and smiles. "Of course she can. I'll go get her."   
Patting Annie on the knee, Trixie gets up to go ask Shelagh to join them. 

Annie looks at Tim. "She won't mind?" She looks worried.   
"Annie. Mum will be so happy to."   
"I want her to be here when her grandchild is born."  
Tim can't find any words to describe the feeling that gave him. So he just leans in and presses a kiss to Annie's temple.   
As Trixie returns with Shelagh in tow the find Annie squeezing hard on Tim's hands as another contraction comes on. 

"That's it sweetie," Trixie encourages. "Good girl."   
Shelagh waits until the contraction has passed to approach the bed.  
Annie leans into her with a relieved sigh, grinning when she can't go that far - Shelagh's got an iron core and is holding her up .  
"I've got you sweetheart," Shelagh murmurs to her, too quietly for the other two to really catch.

Shelagh slides her hand up and down Annie's back, and when the next contraction hits, presses against her lower back to help counteract the pain.   
Annie collapses back against Shelagh once it's passed, and Tim looks at his mum with a bit of worry. 

Shelagh catches his expression. "It's alright, love. Just hurts."   
Annie snorts in a way that very clearly indicates that's an understatement.

"In fact, everything is going perfectly." Trixie adds.  
Annie's labor continues in much the same manner for another few hours. Leaning into Shelagh, and squeezing Tim's hands through the contractions. 

A little bit of back and forth that Annie actually quite likes.   
Helps the anxious nerves.  
Annie is so relieved when Trixie tells her that she's fully dilated.  
It's been a long labor, and she’s more than ready to meet her baby. 

That's when Trixie asks Tim if he still wants to help.

Tim looks to Annie first, before answering. She gives him a little nod and he presses a kiss to her sweaty forehead before leaving her side. 

Trixie gets him settled in position, for now helping to hold her legs, giving her something to push against. Trixie talks him through everything she's doing, making sure to reassure Annie too.

"I can see the head, Annie." Tim's voice is full of wonder and excitement. 

Annie manages a strained laugh at his voice and at the fact her baby was coming   
their baby.   
Trixie gently rested Tim's gloved hands against the baby's head.  
Tim's eyes go wide and he looks up at Annie. She's able to give him a small smile before another contraction hits accompanied by Trixie telling her to push and Shelagh whispering soothing words. 

"Right, Tim, that's it, just cradle them - good girl, Annie! We have your baby’s head!"   
Trixie watches them carefully, nodding approvingly at what Tim is doing.   
Annie lets out a sobbed laugh and falls into Shelagh. 

"Tim, very carefully, switch positions with me." Trixie instructs. They move together and end up with Trixie supporting Annie's leg while Tim is between them. 

"Perfect," Trixie praises. "Now then, Annie, I think we'll have baby on your next push. Tim, be ready. Hand under the baby but not pulling." 

Shelagh helps Annie sit up a bit, "You've got this sweet girl. One more and baby will be here."   
Annie gives a determined nod and on the next contraction pushes as hard as she can. 

"That's it, that's it! Good girl! You did it!" Trixie encourages.   
The baby crying is the best and most precious thing Annie has ever heard. On the 15th of July, 1966 at nearly three in the morning, Annie’s baby finally joined the world. 

Tim can't even speak, he has the baby in his hands, and he's definitely crying. Trixie is quickly clamping the cord and setting out a clean towel to wrap the baby in while Tim marvels at the tiny baby in his arms. 

Shelagh's crying too, as she's hugging Annie hard. "You did so well darling."  
Tim places the baby down on the towel Trixie placed on the end of the bed and takes the scissors offered by Trixie to cut the cord before he bundles the little one up.   
Walking around to the side of the bed he sits down next to Annie who has her arms out.   
Gently Tim places the baby Annie's arms.   
Annie lets out a sob and holds her baby close, running a finger down the tiny nose, over chubby little cheeks. “Hello my love.”   
"He's so perfect." Tim whispers kissing Annie's head.   
"He?" She can't tear her eyes away. "We have a little boy?"  
Tim nods. He still can't talk, his voice choked, throat thick.  
Shelagh peers over Annie's shoulder at her grandson's face.   
"Oh, Annie," Shelagh murmurs. "He's beautiful."  
The little boy fights to get his arms unwrapped and tucks one little fist up by his mouth. Annie trails a gentle finger over the curl of his hand, memorizing him.

Tim leaves her side to deal with his gloves and rinse his hands and then he's back.  
He strokes a hand over the baby's head, his tiny little fingers   
"He's perfect," Tim finally manages to murmurs. "Love you, little one."

Trixie watches the precious moment of the small family and Shelagh gets up to give her friend a hug. In Shelagh's absence, Annie shifts with a slight wince to lean more into Tim.   
Tim takes her weight happily and is all eyes for their new little baby.  
"Proud of you," he murmurs to Annie and kisses her temple.  
Annie lets out a little giggle. "I'm proud of you too. You delivered your first baby." She turns her head to look at him.   
"And he did a splendid job." Trixie adds, walking over to the side of the bed. "How about Shelagh gives little man here his first bath while we see if we can get the afterbirth over with?"

Annie smiles and hands the baby to Shelagh. "Go help her, Tim. Me and Trixie will be alright here."

Tim gets up and mostly watches as Shelagh shows him how to wash such a little baby.

"Just a little bit more work and you'll be able to rest." Trixie assures Annie, rubbing the side of her leg. 

Annie pulls a face but nods. "I already want him back in my arms."   
Trixie gives her a knowing smile. "Soon, it shouldn't be long now and it'll all be over. You did a magnificent job today. But we need to make sure the placenta is out."

Annie nods, her face settling into a determined expression and wincing at how sore she is   
It's not much longer until the afterbirth is over and Annie can have her little boy back in her arms. As much as she wants to get up and wash, she wants her baby in her arms more. 

Shelagh kisses her temple. "My love. I'm so proud of you, and your beautiful little boy. I'm just going to ring Patrick and tell him the good news - I'll be right downstairs if you need me."  
Shelagh hands the the now clean and diapered little boy back to Tim and slips out of the room.


	21. His Name

Before leaving, Trixie helps Annie clean herself up a bit. Wash the sweat and blood from her body and get into new clothes. Trixie offers to stay with Annie through a feeding before she leaves, but Annie asks if Shelagh can and Trixie is more than happy to allow it. Annie trusts Shelagh, and it's something she's a little anxious about.  
What if she can't do it? But Shelagh never makes her feel bad or on show or lacking. She doesn't have to pretend to be comfortable. And she wants Shelagh to be a part of it, to show her how. Shelagh's her mum even if she's not calling her that yet.

And once Shelagh has walked her through it, her midwifery taking over a little, she's there to just celebrate with Annie.   
Annie asks Tim to come back in while Danny is still feeding and she laughs at his hesitance.   
“You just delivered our son, you can be with me while I breastfeed. Honestly.” She teasingly huffs.   
Tim gently sits down on the opposite side that Shelagh's on and puts his arm around Annie's shoulders. She leans into him and the little baby whines in protest because he was moved.

Annie laughs softly. "Oh hush, little one. That's no way to greet your Daddy."  
Tim can't help grinning he's Daddy.  
"Does little one have a name yet?" Shelagh asks, reaching out to brush a finger against his tiny foot. He kicks out at her touch and Shelagh grins. She loves baby reflexes.

Tim looks at Annie. "What do you think?"

"I had a few in the running for his first name." Annie says running a finger along his cheek as his mouth continues to work at her breast. "The moment he was in my arms, I decided on Daniel. Daniel Timothy Turner."

Shelagh makes a soft "Oh!" exhale noise and Tim chokes a little and moves so he can look at her. "Annie..."

"You're his Daddy. You saved us, made sure we loved and safe. I don't want him having anyone's name but yours."

TIm can feel tears pricking at his eyes. "Annie." He can only say her name and put a gently hand on the baby's head, careful not to accidentally brush against her skin.

He presses his forehead against the side of her head, trying not to cry.  
Annie turns to kiss his cheek, ignoring that Shelagh is like right there.  
"Is that okay?"

"More than okay." Tim manages to get out.

Shelagh slips out quietly to let them talk.  
Annie moves a hand to take Tim's in hers and squeezes gently. Tim really wants to kiss her but knows that it would be wildly inappropriate.

"I want him to always know you're his Daddy. I want everyone to know."

Tim swallows thickly. "I want to be his Daddy. Always." Tim can barely talk he's so overwhelmed by it.

Danny lets go of Annie's breast with a massive yawn. "I think he's done. Do you wanna take him?"

Tim nods and reaches out to take him from her. He used to wind Teddy for Shelagh so he has a pretty good idea of what he's doing it.

He makes sure to look away, not wanting Annie to feel like he's ogling her.  
Annie notices and giggles a little. "Again, Tim, you just saw me give birth, seeing my exposed breast is no worse."

Tim blushes bright red and grumbles at her a little. "I was only being polite." He's grinning at her sheepishly though.  
Annie re-settles her nightdress and turns to watch Tim with Danny. She's already growing to love how he is with him - he's confident holding him, but so tender and gentle too.

Her insides feel warm and fuzzy, watching Tim with their son.  
Danny drifts off to sleep after burping, his head on Tim's chest.

Annie yawns too. "Will you stay here with him if I sleep some?" she asks him softly.  
She doesn't want Danny out of her sight, but she's tired too. And he's safe with Tim.

"Of course." Tim gets up and goes over to the other side of the bed so he can stretch out more comfortably and still be next to her.

Annie sighs and gets more comfortable on the bed, wincing a bit in discomfort as she settles. She reaches out to touch Tim's knee. "Thank you."

Tim looks over and her and smiles. "I'll wake you when he starts fussing to be fed again."  
Annie nods and closes her eyes.

She falls asleep like that, one hand still stretched out to touch his knee.


	22. Meet your Grandson

Tim takes Daniel downstairs while Shelagh is helping Annie washup, more than just an assisted rinse in the sink, giving her advice on the least uncomfortable way of doing it.

Patrick is trying not to pace nervously in the kitchen. He knows everything is fine but, still lots of nervous energy. Shelagh would have called and told him if something was wrong. He had gotten there a little bit ago, having dropped the kids off with Trixie and Christopher so he could go over and meet the baby without the bouncing excitement of Angie and Teddy.

Tim's stomach is full of butterflies as he carries Danny down the stairs. Pauses outside the door to take a deep breath.  
"Dad, are you ready to meet your grandson?"

Patrick's heart stops for a moment.  
Both Shelagh and Patrick had been told that Annie wanted Tim to be the baby's Daddy.  
But actually hearing and seeing the tiny little boy, it was completely different. 

Tim comes into the room. "Do you want to hold him?" He's so nervous. His insides are all fluttery.  
"Of course I do, bring him here." Patrick's got that big soft goofy grin on his face  
Tim hands him over so, so carefully and takes a deep breath once Danny is secure. "Dad, meet Daniel Timothy."

Patrick lets out a breath, almost a little laugh of joy. "Well hello there Daniel Timothy. "

Tim sits down next to him and puts his head on Patrick's shoulder. "He's perfect, Dad."

"That he is. Everything was alright then?" Patrick asks, not taking his eyes of Daniel

"Textbook, according to Trixie."

"According to Trixie, you delivered him." Patrick finally takes his eyes away from the tiny sleeping baby to look at Tim. Shelagh had told him when she called in the early hours of the morning, but Trixie had given him more of play-by-play of how Tim had delivered his son. 

Tim ducks his head a little. "I did. I was - I was the first person to touch him."

"That's fantastic." Patrick is so incredibly proud.

Annie comes down the stairs with Shelagh's support and smiles at the image they make. Tim with his head on Patrick's shoulder and both of them mushy puddles looking at a baby.

"Hi." Annie says from the doorway.

Tim all but jumps up to help support Annie, she laughs but lets him take her weight. Annie sits down in the seat Tim just got out of, next to Patrick.  
Patrick's attention is on Daniel, who now has his eyes open and is trying to wrestle his arms free from the blanket he's wrapped in.

He still can't focus very well, the eye muscles aren't strong enough, but he's trying, dammit  
and all squirmy.

"I think someone might want his Mummy." Patrick says, turning to hand the squirmy baby to Annie.

Annie takes him and settles him against her, bouncing him a little. Annie leans against Patrick's side a little, mostly a bump of their shoulders that she doesn't move away after.  
"I think it's wind. He was a little impatient to meet his granddad."

Holding him against her, she moves to pull the blanket from around him, not wanting him to get too hot against her chest and under the blanket.  
"Did you tell your dad his last name?" Annie turns to look at Tim

"No, I wanted you here first." Tim says softly.

Annie bends her head to kiss the top of Daniel's before looking at Patrick. "I want him to be a Turner."  
Patrick looks at her. Shelagh smiles softly - it's like the expression when she told him she was expecting Teddy.  
"You - Annie...Can I give you a hug?" His voice breaks a little  
Annie nods and leans into Patrick as he wraps his arms around her.  
"You're the only family he's going to know, and I want him to have his Daddy's name."

Patrick squeezes her gently before letting her go and cupping a gentle hand around Danny's head. "Of course. We'd be honoured to be his family."  
Danny finally lets out a burp causing Annie to laugh. "Let's assume that was a burp of agreement."  
The tiny boy settles a little again and Patrick nudges her with his shoulder. "May I steal another cuddle?"  
He looks a bit sheepish.

Annie giggles and hands him over "Of course. Get them in now because when Angie and Teddy meet him, you'll have some cuddle competition."

"Oh, I intend to." Patrick picks Danny up and cuddles him close, head on his shoulder  
Shelagh snorts. "Now you've done it. He'll be stealing them from work next."  
She looks so fond though, and goes to coo at the baby over Patrick's shoulder.

"Oh hush." Patrick grumbles at her teasingly.  
Annie relaxes back into the sofa next to them and smiles.

She's so glad this is the family she has.  
She feels like the love in the room might be physical, can actually feel it radiating from them all.  
She's not quite sure if it's real or if she's just still that exhausted.


	23. Tim's Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little disjointed---chat bits to set things up

it is Sad /o\ I was just thinking about Tim having nightmares after the wedding, about losing Shelagh, and trying so hard to keep quiet

We saw him dosing himself in the show to hide the pain he was in when he was getting sick with the polio  
So as not to worry them/effect the wedding  
He tries so hard to be good

he doesn't want them worrying about him more than they already do

And having a nightmare in the middle of the night would worry them  
A lot

maybe he has one earlier in the night on a night that Patrick is out late, and Shelagh hears him  
She's still waking up for 4am compline  
And hears him, or sees sees light on  
Or him creep down to the living room for some water/wrap himself in his dad's coat  
Like he did when he was very small and scared  
And Shelagh finds him curled up on the couch  
Under Patrick's coat and holding a cardigan Shelagh forgot to put away after laundry

"Tim?" Her voice is soft

He looks up at her, a little startled and sits up  
"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry"

She shakes her head. "Still running on baby schedule. Hot chocolate?"

Tim nods at her and gets up to join her in the kitchen  
it's obvious how sleepy he is, but he's afraid to go back to bed

She bumps their shoulders together as she makes it, mostly quiet. "Why don't we drink on the couch, hmm?"

Tim just quietly follows her back to the couch  
and when they sit down he rests his head on her shoulder

She puts their hot chocolate down on the table and then puts an arm around his shoulder

"Do you want to talk about why you're up so early?"

Tim shakes his head a little bit  
"Its silly."

"It's not silly if it's bothering you."

"Please don't tell Dad." He's talking to her lap

"As long as you're not in trouble, he doesn't have to know."

Tim nods. "Do you - do you know how my mum died?"

Shelagh gives him a squeeze. "Yes, I do." she tells him quietly.

He nods and is just quiet for a while  
"I had dreams."

"About your mum?"

He nods.  
"And then - about you."

"Oh darling," Shelagh moves her hand up to his hair and smooths it a little

He sniffs quietly and leans into the touch to his hair  
(... Oh. Maybe *this* is when the can I call you mum" conversation happens)  
"I can't promise nothing bad will ever happen." Shelagh tells him  
Because he's been calling her mum in his head. Thinking of her that way  
Tim nods. "I know. It's why I didn't tell anyone."  
"Sometimes talking helps it not feel so scary."  
He curls into her side  
"I was asleep when - when they came and told me."

Shelagh makes a quiet noise, she knows Tim was young with his mother died, around 4, she's surprised that he remembers.

"Sometimes I wake up like it's happening again."

"Sometimes our brains make us remember things we'd rather not."

"Dad comes in and says mum has died... And it's you."

"Oh Tim." Shelagh kisses his head

He turns his head a little to peer up at her. His eyes are red and he looks shy. "Is that okay? If you're my mum?"

Shelagh's a little stunned, she didn't know what he would say next but that was not what she had been expecting.  
"Of...of course Tim. If you want me to be." She stuttered a little.  
He wraps his arms around her middle and hides. "Please."  
Shelagh rubs his back and lets him hide against her  
He feels a sob building and tries to stop it.  
Usually he does this bit alone  
"It's okay to cry" She whispers it to him  
Something - her tone of her hug or the permission - makes him properly cry where he'd hiding his face against her side  
They sit curled up on the couch for a while, Tim crying and Shelagh rubbing his back  
and she wants to cry, this little boy shouldn't have so much sadness in him

and think he has to deal with it alone  
Tim eventually cries himself into quiet, just a few sniffles

Shelagh waits for him to speak again if he wants to

Eventually he lifts his head. His eyes are red from crying and his cheeks blotchy but he gives her a wobbly smile. "... warm hot chocolate?"  
their mugs are abandoned and cold on the table still  
Shelagh chuckled "how about I stick them in the microwave?"  
Tim wrinkles his nose a bit but nods. "kay."  
Tim hangs Patrick's coat back up and replaces Shelagh's cardigan while she's in the kitchen  
______

oh jeeze  
Tim getting a nightmare when Annie is pregnant with Daniel  
not as bad as the one he has right after is Daniel is born but

He wakes up with a shout and is all trembly but doesn't get stuck in it  
It’s after the not uncle tim conversation

Annie knows that his first mum died in childbirth  
and that he was young

But no real details beyond that  
he doesn't like feeling weak around her  
he's supposed to be the strong one

And it will make him cry and talking about it makes him feel like he's 4 and frightened and alone all over again  
He has the nightmare one of the nights when they're sharing a bed

His shout wakes Annie  
and after he realizes that he's okay and he's not alone he pulls Annie to him, and she lets him  
she realizes that he probably had a nightmare and will talk to her when he's able

He hides his face in her neck and just stays there, holding her in his arms and breathing her in for a while  
Reassuring himself

Annie grabs one of his hands and puts it on her belly, pulling back a little from him.  
"It was just a dream, we're safe." She whispers  
She can tell by the desperate way he's holding her what the nightmare included

Tim takes some deep breaths and finally opens his eyes  
"Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize for having a bad dream."

Tim exhales slowly  
"I haven't had that dream for awhile," he finally admits quietly

"Do you want to tell me what it was about?"

Tim swallows and his quiet for a while, gathering his thoughts  
"It's a ... variation of an old dream. Where Dad comes and tells me about Mum and the baby."  
"Not..not Shelagh." He clarifies. "My first mum."

"Oh Tim," Annie breaths. "When you ... lost them?"  
Tim nods "Yeah,"  
"This time it was us?"  
Her voice is soft  
All Tim can do is nod and bury his face in her hair, his hand rubbing her belly gently.  
Annie lets him press as close as he needs for as long as he needs, mostly quiet and rubbing his back  
Murmuring to him quietly occasionally  
"My mum and my little sister died because the doctor they called in to help refused to listen to the midwife."  
Annie gasps softly. He'd never told her it was a little girl before  
She touches his cheek. "Trixie won't let anything happen to us."

Tim sighs. "I know. I just - worry."  
"I dreamed about Shelagh dying after her and Dad got married. And when Teddy was born."

She keeps letting Tim just hold on to her

She gently talks to him after a few moments  
"Baby is saying they're okay, too."

Tim lets out a short laugh, "I can feel them."

Annie shifts them around a bit, manhandling Tim stuff so he can rest against her belly more comfortably  
She pets his hair gently

Annie likes seeing this side of Tim  
even if it makes her heart hurt  
because he's letting himself be the vulnerable one

he trusts her  
Tim finds where the baby is moving and his expression evens out and go all soft and tender

Annie watches his face change and smiles  
this is one of the moments that make Annie realize how much she loves and how much she wants to be okay enough to let herself love him

I think it's a realisation too that she can be good for him  
he's sharing this with her (even if it wasn't intentional at first) and she can help him  
it's not entirely one sided  
she's not just a horrible burden he feels obliged to because he's a stupidly good human

she's able to give him something in return  
even if it's just a cuddle when he's had a bad dream  
and a glimpse into the ways he's a little messed up

they spend the rest of the night cuddling, and Tim eventually falls back to sleep

Annie falls back asleep a little after him

I just thought about  
During the night/next morning  
Tim has a nightmare  
that they weren't okay

like if Teddy is born at night, Tim wouldn't have slept while he was waiting  
finally passes out after he's seen them and while they feed Teddy

Tim comes testing out of his room  
And the light on in theirs scares him  
Hyperventilating-sobs

But they hear him and call him in  
He can't breath because he's so frightened and crying  
Still half stuck in the nightmare

Shelagh reaches her hand out to him  
And makes room on her other side. Patrick is no longer behind her  
And Teddy is dozing on her chest again  
Tim sinks to the floor by the bed and manages a whispers an apology, Especially when Teddy stirs at the noise.

"Nonsense." Shelagh won't hear any of it

Tim's breathing is still all fucked up  
"Come up here, lay with us."  
She and Patrick shift over a bit more so Tim can lay on his side with them, bent so his head is on Shelagh's shoulder

She hands the baby to Patrick so she can cuddle him a little better. Rub his back and shoulders, wherever she can reach  
Murmuring softly and humming little bits of song  
He fumbles for her hand and she realises he's looking for her pulse

"We're safe." she whispers, giving him her wrist

He locates her pulse and presses his fingers against her wrist. She can hear him counting under his breath.

Patrick is focusing on keeping Teddy calm. But watches the interaction between Tim and his mum. Shelagh kisses Tim's sweat damp forehead. He whimpers a bit and hides his face against her. Teddy is thankfully full and largely oblivious.  
Shelagh keeps murmuring that she's safe. And Teddy is safe  
Patrick hands Teddy over when Tim has calmed down a bit, so Tim can have him on his chest and hold him again  
___  
Tim having a similar nightmare after Daniel is born and Annie doesn't have quite the same context. Like she knows how his Mum died, but she freaks out a bit.

He won't answer her when she keeps asking him what's wrong  
His fingers pressed against her wrist

It frightens her a little. How tight his grip is

"Tim please, you're scaring me."

He drops her wrist immediately  
He's on his knees next to the bed  
"Sorry. I'm sorry."  
He rests his head on the bed, burying his face. Apologizing over and over.  
She sits up and grabs her dressing gown from the table next to the bed  
She touches his hair hesitantly "Tim?"

like, he now knows the doctor didn't listen to the midwife.  
and that somehow got transmuted into *him* being the doctor who didn't listen, or did something wrong, and that killed Annie and Danny

he was so nervous about it before and it's just come out in his nightmares now. his fear about the delivery anyway from his mum, and the added stress of delivering Danny...  
and - nightmare

"Tim I need you to get up and bring me Daniel." Annie's tone is a little forceful but she wants to pull him out of the terror that's gripping him.

TIm looks up at her and levers himself to his feet. He goes over to Daniel's moses basket and picks him up  
So, so carefully even though he's still frightened

The warm weight of Daniel resting in his arms, his little body wriggling  
He carefully hands Daniel to her. And stays by the bed awkwardly, not knowing what to do

Annie pats the bed next to her. "Sit down, Tim."  
He sits down on the edge of the bed. His knees bouncing with his anxiety.   
"Not there." Annie pays next to her "get in the bed with me."  
He climbs up on the bed with her and rests his head on her shoulder. Curling up the same way he did after his nightmare about Shelagh and Teddy  
Annie makes sure Danny is secure on her chest and rubs his shoulder and pets his hair. "What happened?" Her voice is quiet and soft. Not pressuring him to talk  
"Lost you....my fault." He mumbles, Annie doesn't catch everything he says.  
"Tim," she starts softly. "you've not lost me. I'm right here."  
"Did I bruise you?" he mumbles quietly  
He didn't  
But  
"No. But you did frighten me." She lifts up her arm to show him. "What were you doing?"  
"trying to find your pulse. I had to make sure."  
"Oh Tim." Annie reaches out to stroke the side of his face. "I'm okay. And so is Daniel."  
He leans into her touch. "Can - can I hold him again?"  
"Of course."  
Tim sits up so he can take Daniel from her.  
He leans back against the headboard and let's Daniel settle on his chest.  
The rise and fall of his little body helping to calm Tim's still racing heart.  
Tim held his sleeping son in silence, letting himself calm down.  
Annie curls up against his shoulder and breathes slow and calm too  
"I... after Teddy was born," Tim eventually murmurs into the silence  
"I had a nightmare. That he and my mum died."  
" I woke up terrified. Ran to my mum's room, took her pulse and everything."  
"I lost my first mum when the GP assisting her delivery didn't listen to the midwife.   
I dreamt the same thing happened again.   
And tonight that it was /me/ who made the bad call."  
"Oh Tim," Annie murmurs and leans up a little to kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry. But we're both safe."  
"And you're already a better doctor than that."  
Tim shifts down so he can rest his head on Annie's shoulder  
They lay curled up together until Daniel informs them that he's hungry.  
Tim chuckles softly and sits up. "I'm sorry."


	24. Littles Meet Danny

Angie goes abruptly silent in the car on the way to Annie's.  
She's been jittery and hyperactive and unable to settle all day and then goes quiet and still.

It worries Trixie a little. She's the one bringing them over, so she can drop them off and check on Annie and Danny.

Angie climbs straight into Shelagh's lap when they get in.

After Trixie does her checks, she carries Daniel downstairs for Annie who is still slow going on the stairs.  
Trixie gives the little boy back to Annie before leaving with a promise of being by in the morning.  
Annie brings Daniel into the living room and sits down next to Shelagh and Angie. "Do you want to meet him?"

Angie looks at her with great big eyes and nods a little. She's clinging to Shelagh's arm so hard her little knuckles are white.

Daniel wasn't wrapped back up in the blanket, he seemed to start throwing a fit whenever he was awake and wrapped up. His little legs are moving about and Angie is watching him with a serious look.  
"This is your nephew, his name is Daniel Timothy Turner." Annie says quietly, angling the little boy so Angie can see him better.

Angie looks at him for a long time and then finally finds her voice. "Won't he be cold?"  
"No, sweet girl, he's okay," Annie tells her gently. "He'll let us know if he's cold. Why don't you touch him, hmm?"

"What if I hurt him?" Angie is so worried about it

"You won't. I promise." Annie gently takes one of Angie's hands and gently lays it against his head. "There. Just like when he was in my belly."

Angie gently rubs her hand over the soft light brown hair on Danny's head. "He's soft."

Annie smiles. "He is. Do you want to hold him?"  
Annie's a little worried by this solemn little girl. She obviously loves Danny already, is so frightened of hurting him, but she'd been so excited just the day before she went into labour  
Had seemed so less worried over the past few months.

Angie squirmed around to look at Shelagh for reassurance "Go ahead love, you'll be alright.”  
Angie settles in Shelagh's lap and Annie places the baby in her lap, his head cradled in the crook of her arm and his weight across her lap.  
Angie lets out a little hiccuping sob as soon as Danny is settled in her lap.

Annie gives Shelagh a worried look, neither knowing what's going on.  
"Angie, sweetie, what's wrong?"  
Annie keeps her hand under Angie's behind Daniel's head, helping her support him.

"He's so little and and and so special and and I'm happy but ... but I'll miss feeling Annie's tummy."

"Oh sweet girl." Annie leans forward and kisses her forehead. "We'll still be able to cuddle lots though. Even though Daniel's not in my tummy anymore.

Angie sniffs a little. "Okay."  
Teddy finally manages to squirm off of Patrick's lap and scurries over to them, stopping just short of bumping into Annie.

"Can I hold him? Can I?" He's bouncing up and down on his toes

Annie laughs a little. "Mmhmm. You have to be very gentle and quiet and calm. Okay? Why don't you and Angie swap so your Mummy can help you."

Angie reluctantly lets Annie take the baby back and climbs off of Shelagh's lap. Teddy quickly scrambles up to where his sister just was.  
Shelagh helps him hold his arms the right way so that Annie can place Daniel on his lap the same way she did with Angie.

Teddy starts to giggle and squeak quietly "Can I touch his hair???"

Annie chuckles and nods, "go ahead, but remember to be very careful"

Teddy strokes one finger against his hair  
Angie reaches out a hand to touch Danny's hand and gasps when Danny grabs her  
"Look! Annie!"

"He's really strong isn't he?" Annie asks Angie

Angie nods quickly. "He is!"

It's not long after that that Danny starts fussing, needing to be fed again.  
Tim offers to take him upstairs for Annie so she doesn't have to worry about navigating them yet with the baby in her arms.

"Please," Annie says gratefully. She's still sore and tired and unsure on the stairs, especially while holding Danny.

"Angie, do you want to come cuddle with me while I feed him?"  
Annie gives Shelagh a quick look to make sure that's okay.

Shelagh smiles and nods.  
Angie nods quickly. "Can I? Please?" She checks with Shelagh too

"Go ahead." Shelagh smiles at her. Annie holds out her hand to Angie when she stands and they go upstairs.  
"I wanna cuddle too!" Teddy calls after them and tries to run after them but Patrick scoops him up before he can catch up. "Lets let the girls cuddle hmm?"

Teddy grumbles. "YOU said girls and boy are the same," but he lets Patrick cuddle him and gets distracted talking about all the things he wants to do with Danny when he’s big  
Annie takes Danny from Tim and helps Angie up onto the bed.

"Do you feed Daniel like Mummy fed Teddy?" she asks as she settles on the bed while Annie starts undoing the top of her night dress

"How did Mummy feed Teddy?" Annie asks, pausing in undoing her night dress. Mostly curious about how Angie will answer.

Angie looks at her and says "Mummy breastfed him, but Daddy and Tim would feed him with a bottle. And sometimes I got to help."

Annie looks a little surprised but smiles. "Yes, I feed Danny like Mummy fed Teddy." Annie finishes undoing her shirt and gets Danny latched on. Trying not to be too disconcerted by how intently Angie is watching her

Angie rests her head on Annie's should and watches as Danny eats.  
She reaches out and runs a finger over his head.

Annie cuddles her as much as she can by keeping a firm grip on Danny and kisses her hair.  
"Are you sure you're okay, sweet girl?"

Angie nods, still focusing on Danny.  
"You said he's my nephew?"  
Annie wonders if this is why she was being so quiet  
"I did."

"Why?"

"Because Tim is his Daddy," Annie says, softly. "And - and you're my sister, aren't you, sweet girl?" Annie's heart is in her throat.

"I am?" Angie's eyes go wide. But then she gets a confused look on her face.. "Tim is his Daddy even though you made him with someone who's not nice?"

"That's right," Annie confirms, and tightens her hold on Danny a little, instinctive. "Like your Mummy and Daddy didn't make you. And Tim wasn't in Mummy's tummy. Tim is going to love him, and look after him, and make sure he's safe."

"And I will too." Angie says very seriously.

"I know you will, sweet girl," Annie kisses her forehead and her hair. "See? You're his family. He's a Turner. Do you not want him to be your nephew?"

"No!" Angie says loudly making Danny startle a little. "I'm sorry." She pats his head. "I want him to be." She has a lot of big feelings that she's having a hard time putting into words.  
"I'm glad," Annie tells her. "You were so quiet."

Angie nods, getting quiet again.  
"It's okay," Annie rushes to reassure her. "It's okay if you're quiet. I was just worried. Do... you want to talk about anything?"

Angie shrugs and focuses on watching Daniel again.

"Okay." Annie kisses her hair and they just sit cuddles up in silence watching Danny.

Annie keeps looking down at her, still worried.

But she knows pushing her won't help. It's like when they first told her she was expecting almost

Angie will find her words when she’s ready.  
She has more feelings than her vocabulary can handle.

She's a little worried that Annie will forget about her now that she has her baby.

Annie doesn't move until Daniel is done feeding, and then only enough to cover herself up again. "Angie, sweetie?"  
Angie looks up at her.

"Will you help me wind him?"

Her eyes get big "How?"

Annie arranges Daniel in the right position. "Like this, look, rubbing and patting his back.  
Annie holds him up so Angie can pat his back.

Angie taps on his back lightly.  
"You have to be a little harder sweetie."  
Daniel rewards their efforts with a hearty burp that makes Angie giggle.

Annie settles him back against her chest and rubs his back slowly as he squirms around on her.   
"I'm going to take a nap while Danny does. Would you like to nap with us or go back downstairs!" Annie asks.  
"Can I stay here?" Angie asks. Annie nods and they both get comfortable. Annie stays propped up against the headboard with Daniel on her chest and Angie burrows down and puts her head on Annie's lap.

Annie soon follows Danny in his napping but Angie stays awake for a while, even though she's tired. Thinking.


	25. Loving Him

Daniel is a little over a month old when she goes out without him for the first time. Trixie talks her into girls night. And she comes home to Tim, asleep on the couch, his school notes on the floor and Daniel asleep on his chest.   
She puts down her bag and hangs up her coat, toeing off her shoes, and the wave of yes and right that fills her up to is just - it's too much. Daniel is sleeping peacefully on his chest, and Tim has one arm curled protectively around him, the other dangling on the floor, and Tim's cheek is resting on the top of Daniel's head. There's a half drunk cup of tea on the table and Tim has spit up on his shirt.  
___

It's the middle of the night. She's got the baby in her arms. Daniel is refusing to sleep. He's not crying, but he starts to when she puts him down.

She's just pacing with him in her arms.  
Tim gets up to go to the bathroom and sees the light on downstairs  
She went down because she didn’t want the squeaky floorboards in the upstairs hallway to wake him up. 

He knocks on the doorway to the living room  
Annie turns around. "OH, I'm sorry, did we wake you?"  
She walks over to meet him as Tim steps into the room, bouncing a little as she walks. 

Tim shakes his head. "Nope. Just got up for the toilet and noticed the light was on. Want me to take him?"  
"I don't know if he'll let you." Annie sighs. "He won't even let me sit down, or put him in his cot."

"Worth a shot, right?" Tim says with a small smile. "let's see if he'd like a cuddle from his Daddy."

Annie moves to hand Danny to Tim and the little boy makes a very annoyed sounding squeak.   
Tim takes him from her and settles the little boy in the crook of his arm. "hey now, little man, why are you so grumpy, huh? It's only your Daddy."   
Tim bounces him in his arms.

Danny scrunches up his face and lets out a wail.   
Tim shifts him so his head is on his shoulder but the crying doesn't stop.   
Tim rubs his back. "Aw, little man. Your Mummy is right here. We should let her sleep."   
Danny's screaming gets louder instead of quieting down. 

"I don't think he cares much that Mummy is tired." Annie says and holds her hands out to Tim.   
Tim hands the baby back over and once Annie has him with his head on her chest, he starts quieting down.  
Tim laughs softly. "Sorry I couldn't give you a break. Can't say I blame the little guy, though. I'd rather be with you than anyone else too."   
Tim smiles at her quickly.  
He's said similar things to her before. About wanting to be in her company. And most of the time she's just brushed it off.   
But it's not even 3 in the morning, she's got her hair messily pulled back so the baby can't grab it, she's got spit up on her shirt. And he still says he'd rather be with her.   
Tim squeezes her shoulder and kisses the little boys head. "I can stay up with you?"  
"No point in both of us getting no sleep." Annie says, but not really meaning it. 

Tim shrugs. "Let me at least make you tea first." He doesn't really want to leave her alone either   
"Or... hot chocolate?"

"Tea would be more than welcome." Annie gives him a smile.   
He ends up making two cups. Deciding that he'll stay up with her anyway.

Having him there to talk to makes pacing with Danny easier. Not that she *minds* holding her son, and she couldn't leave him to cry.  
It's just....

She's so tired, her legs hurt, she just wants to sit down. Even if it's in the rocking chair. 

Tim and Annie chat quietly while she bounces Danny. It's good to have company at least 

Annie tries to sit down once it seems that Daniel might have fallen asleep. But after just a few minutes, Danny starts crying again.  
"Give him here," Tim says, standing up again. "You're dead on your feet. Maybe he'll settle this time."  
Annie reluctantly hands the screaming baby over. 

"Sit down, love," Tim says absently and settles Danny with his head on his shoulder, patting his bum and back firmly alternating.  
It takes a while, but Danny's screams subside and turn into snuffles. 

Walks and bounces him and murmurs to him quietly   
Annie curls up on the end of the sofa and watches her boys. And that thought stops her breath a moment. Her Boys. 

Tim manages to get Danny to settle into a light doze. "Why don't you go up to bed?" he tells Annie, and hesitates when he sees her expression. "Annie?"  
She catches herself and stops herself from saying "I love you"  
Instead she says, "You're so good with him."  
Her firm realization that she loves him didn't come just from watching Tim with Daniel.  
It's how he was so willing to stay up with her. Being so concerned about her being dead on her feet. How easily they talk, even though it's 3am and they're both dead tired.

Tim shrugs a little. "I love him. He's my son. And I had practice." He grins at her.  
Annie smiles back at him. 

"Go to bed Annie," Tim says with a smile. "I have this little bug."  
"I'm good here." She tells him.   
She settles into the sofa a little more and keeps watching Tim pace with Danny.   
Every time he stops moving for too long Danny wakes back up.

It's moments like these where Annie knows that if things had been different, if Kenneth hadn't been abusive, had married her when she got pregnant, she'd be doing this alone.   
Sure, she'd be married, but she'd be up alone in the middle of the night, trying to calm a cranky baby. But she has Tim. Who willingly got up to see if he could help, offered to just stay up with her.

But she has Tim. Who willingly got up to see if he could help, offered to just stay up with her.  
"Tim?" Her voice is soft.

Tim looks at her with a soft look on his face. "Hmm?"

"Thank you." it's not what she wants to say, but she's not quite ready yet.

"Nothing to thank me for," Tim replies, and kisses the side of Danny's head.  
Annie refrains from saying that there's everything to thank him for. For being Danny's daddy, for being up in the middle of the night with them, for loving them.

Tim doesn't see it like that, and she's sort of starting to accept that. That Tim is *so glad* he gets to be Danny's daddy, gets to love him (and her), gets to help like this  
But she still wants him to know that he's appreciated. That she's not taking his presence in her life for granted.

Annie ends up dozing on the sofa.

Eventually Danny falls into a deep enough sleep that Tim is able to sit down.

Annie wakes up when he sits down, and moves to snuggle up against him, her head on his other shoulder . She reaches out to put her hand on Danny's back gently. Hoping that she doesn't wake him.  
Cuddling her boys. Tim sighs, tired but happy and rests his head back against the back of the sofa. They fall asleep like that until Danny wakes up hungry.  
___

Ooh maybe they go out for breakfast? Like they used to   
yes  
Once Danny is a tiny bit older and not needing to be fed every 2 hours on the dot.   
They start going out to breakfast on Sundays. Patrick takes Daniel for the morning. 

(Patrick is SO DELIGHTED he gets his grandson to himself for a couple of hours)  
Maybe around November time, when Danny is like ... four months old?

Annie feels more comfortable leaving him for an undetermined amount of time.   
Not that she doesn't trust Patrick, it's not that at all.   
She just doesn't like being away from her baby. 

It wouldn't matter who he was with. She just doesn't like leaving her bb   
But she leaves him with Patrick and she and Tim go out for breakfasts.   
The idea started that maybe they'd both be able to take a parent break for a little. Spend time with other people. Not necessarily going out together

Annie and Shelagh had talked about it. That it was okay to want to or to go out and spend time away from the bb   
Sometimes it was good to, even   
And she has some very eager babysitters 

it's not just Patrick and Shelagh willing to watch Danny  
Barbara offers, as does Trixie, even Phyllis.

Tim and Annie start going to different cafes and diners around Poplar and the neighboring areas. And it's nice, just being able to be together without the baby. Talk about things that don't center around Daniel either. It's a little like back before there was a baby, just the two of them hanging out and having fun on campus. Laughing together.  
Gives Annie a bit of a glimpse about what life would have maybe been like if she hadn't gotten pregnant. And she immediately feels guilty about that. Makes her wonder if she would have dated Tim eventually. She likes to think that she would have. But likes the outcome that includes her little boy much more than some possible alternative.   
She does a bit of a mental double take, thinking about dating Tim.   
The idea makes her stomach flip.She realises they've been talking for longer than she thought they had been. Had lost track of time.

"We should probably go save our son from your father's lectures."   
Tim looks ... disappointed? for a moment before he smiles and nods to her   
"We probably should."  
It's been nearly three hours, not the longest Annie has left Daniel, but she's missing him. And the flips her stomach is making makes her want to hide. And the baby is a good excuse.   
Tim pays for their breakfast and helps her into her coat. 

Annie turns to face him as she buttons up. "I really enjoyed this." Her smile is almost shy. 

Tim smiles back at her and rubs the back of his head. "I did, too .We should do it more often, if you want."

"I would like that very much."

It's the start of almost dating. Even if they don't call it that. It becomes essentially a weekly thing. Trying new places, enjoying each other's company without the baby or his family.   
Just hanging out, getting to be themselves with each other.   
Annie forgot just how much fun he is to be around when they aren't bogged down with worry.   
When she was pregnant, there was always the background worry about the baby. About not pushing each other, about strictly being friends.   
After Daniel was born, most of their conversations were about him. 

Sometimes he touches her arm now, or her hand, or their ankles touch under the table, now   
It's not quite flirting, or even especially like ... suggestive. It could be totally platonic,   
but every time Tim does it on their "dates" Annie's stomach flutters.  
She doesn't know that Tim's does the same. When she takes his hand, or leans into him. How often his stomach flips, or his chest goes tight.


	26. Return to Sender

Her parents are the only family members she sends one to. They were never really close to aunts and uncles or anything. So Annie just sends her parents the announcement to let them know that they have a beautiful little grandson.   
Letting her parents and especially her sisters know Danny was born safe and well, and how beautiful he is.

She wants them to know that she's okay, that her little boy is okay. She mostly wants Janie to know. 

And sometimes actually seeing a beautiful little baby makes people feel differently. Like. That's their *grandson*. At least Annie is hoping, a little bit .  
It's just her and Daniel at home when the post comes  
And he really is a gorgeous little baby.   
And like Shelagh had said, sometimes babies put out the flames of anger. 

they're beautiful, and precious   
and innocent   
They'd been getting cards and letters of congratulations over the past week or so. But when Annie sees the familiar envelope that she sent out, this time marked 'return to sender' it takes everything in her not to fall against the wall.

Some of them postmarked, some of them obviously just pushed through the door as people passed by .  
It’s obvious the seal hasn't even been broken 

Her father's handwriting across the front.  
She knew sending it to them was a long shot.  
Figured it would be thrown in the trash.

Or Janie might have gotten hold of it first   
It's just - devastating all over again  
She was really hoping that Janie would have gotten it first.  
She calls Shelagh. Asks her to come over if she's able. Says she needs to not be alone but Daniel is napping and she doesn't want to wake him.

It's sort of the final rejection   
The one little bit of hope Annie had been clinging to   
Shelagh says of course, she'll be there right away   
Angie and Teddy are super happy to go visit Annie and the baby.  
On the ride there Shelagh tells them that they need to be quiet, Danny is sleeping. And that Annie's heart is sad.

Angela frowns. "Why is Annie's heart sad?"   
She sounds a little like she might be gearing up to fight someone   
"I don't know sweet girl." Shelagh tells her truthfully.  
Annie hadn't told her what was wrong. But Shelagh heard the sadness in her voice.

Angie is quiet the rest of the way. Thinking   
Teddy keeps chattering. He's still little still   
He mostly understands that he needs to be quiet around the baby.  
Doesn't quite understand Annie being sad.

He'll give her a hug if she looks sad or is crying but not quite the rest of it yet   
Annie opens the door when Shelagh knocks   
She waits until they're all inside before picking up the envelope and showing it to Shelagh.   
"It came back, the seal isn't even broken."

Shelagh accepts the letter and sees the address and the return to sender mark   
"Oh love," Shelagh says softly. "I'm sorry."  
"I wish he had just thrown it away." Annie says quietly making her way to the living room. Danny is still sleeping in a Moses basket she has sitting on the sofa.

Shelagh follows her, the kids having already run ahead to play with the little collection of toys that has slowly developed in Annie's living room. Stuff they've brought and left or Annie got for them.  
"It seems so cruel to send it back," Shelagh murmurs agreeing with her.   
Annie scoops Danny up out of the basket, knowing that he's going to wake soon anyway.  
She kisses the top of her little boy’s head. "I don't see how he can just send it back like that. Why throw it in my face?"

Shelagh swallows all the angry things she wants to say and call George.   
"I don't know," Shelagh replies quietly   
Annie closes her eyes tight and a few tears escape.   
"I was hoping that maybe seeing him would, I don't know, at least let them let me see my sisters."

Shelagh reaches out to touch her shoulder and squeezes gently. "Me too."  
Annie leans into Shelagh a little and sighs. "I can't imagine ever cutting Daniel out of my life. Now that I'm a mum, it makes even less sense. Especially over having a child."

Shelagh just nods.   
"Me too." Shelagh reaches her hand out to put it Danny's back. "I'm sorry that they don't want to see how precious Daniel is."

Annie takes a deep breath.   
"If they don't want to see him then they don't deserve to."   
Her voice wavers a little   
"Exactly." Shelagh agrees. "You and your little boy don't need people in your lives that can't see how wonderful you both are."

Annie gives her a wobbly smile and leans over to hug her   
"Thank you."   
Danny lets out a little squawk at being squished a bit between his mummy and grammy. 

Annie manages to laugh a little and pulls back. "Sorry, little man." Annie bounces him a little to make him settle until he wakes up for a feed  
Shelagh grins and pats Danny on the back a bit. "Such a noisy boy." She teased.  
"Mm, he's being quiet now," Annie says. "Aren't you, Danny? Wake up the whole street."   
Annie sounds so warm and fond and loving though

Annie doesn't mind so much that Danny can be loud. He's usually fairly easy to calm. He's a generally happy baby whose easy to calm down. He just lets you know when he's unhappy.  
Even though sometimes what keeps him quiet is being up in the middle of the night cuddling him and pacing around the house. 

After Annie and Shelagh talked about the envelope   
Angela climbs up next to Annie to say hi to Danny   
and says quietly "Mummy said your heart was sad today."  
Annie shifts Danny so he's kind of sitting on her lap, propped against her middle. It lets Angie play with his hands and feet more easily.   
"Your Mummy is right. My heart is sad today."  
She knows there's no point in lying to Angie. 

Angela reaches out and smiles when Danny catches hold of her fingers and holds on tight. She looks up at Annie. "Because of someone mean?"  
She remembers the conversation they had when Annie was still expecting Daniel   
"Sort of. I sent a picture of Daniel to my Mummy and Daddy. But they sent it back without even looking at it. And that hurt my heart." Annie explains. 

Angela makes an upset/angry noise. "That's not very nice. I'm sorry, Annie."  
Annie brushes a hand through Angie's hair. "Oh sweetie, there's nothing for you to apologize for."

"Would you like a hug?"

"I would like a hug very much."  
Angie climbs up onto her knees and gives Annie as big of a hug as she can without squishing the baby.  
Annie hugs her back, one arm keeping Danny secure in her lap   
"I'm glad you're my sister," Angela tells her, shy. She's only said it a couple of times since Annie told her Daniel was her nephew and they were sisters   
Just after he was born. Like Annie might change her mind. 

Annie tries not to choke on her tongue. Hearing Angie say that still makes her a bit emotional.   
"I'm glad you're my sister too sweet girl."  
"Can I cuddle with you and Danny?"  
Shelagh is watching them with a slightly sad smile   
"Of course." They shift around on the sofa so that Annie can lean against the arm, have Danny on one shoulder, and Angie's head on the other. 

Angela traces Danny's toes and strokes the back of his hand and is happy to cuddle against Annie's side .

Angie laughs when Danny flings a hand out to grab onto her finger.   
He tries to bring it to his mouth but ends up just sucking on his fist instead.   
Angela giggles and wrinkles her nose a little. "Eww, baby spit." She doesn't move her hand though.

Annie laughs at the face Angela pulls.   
"I think he might be getting hungry." She says as Danny starts making annoyed sounds that sucking on his own fist isn't getting his belly full.  
"Can I help??" Angela asks, eagerly. By "help" she means watch, mostly. Her help usually includes her hands on Danny's back and helping wind him when he's done.


	27. Smiles

Angie is the first to get a real smile

He's laying on the floor and Angie is at his head. She's got a blanket and keeps covering his face and then taking it away quickly.  
And be gives her a big wide gummy baby smile

"Anniiieeeee!" she shouts and runs to where Annie and Shelagh are in the kitchen.

Annie looks up with a laugh. "Yes, sweet girl?"   
"Danny smiled at me!!!!!!"

"Did he?"   
Angela makes a no!! for real this time!! noise   
"He did! I was playing peek a boo with him and when I pulled the blanket back he smiled at me!" Angie grabs onto Annie's hand pulls.. "Come see!"

Annie lets Angela tow her back into the living room, where Danny is just sort of kicking around on his own still.   
Angie plops back down on the floor and covers Danny's face with the blanket before pulling it away quickly and giving the baby a big smile.   
She has to do it a few times before Danny gives her a smile back.   
"SEE!!!!" Angie nearly shouts looking up Annie. 

Annie sits down on the floor with her. She looks amazed. "I do see!"   
She's only a little jealous that Danny didn't smile at her first.

Annie picks Danny up and holds him so his feet are on her legs and he can pretend to stand.   
She smiles at him and kisses his cheek "Hi baby. Are you having fun with Angie?"  
Danny's eyes go wide at her and gives her a big gummy grin too. 

Annie laughs, maybe getting a tiny little bit teary. "Oh, thank you! A big smile for your Mummy too, huh?" 

She gives his other cheek a kiss and when she pulls back Danny gives her another smile.  
Shelagh's joined them on the floor, Teddy in tow as well because EXCITEMENT  
"What about Grammy? Does Grammy get a smile?" Annie asks turning him to face Shelagh.  
Shelagh crouches down to talk to him too, and after a while he gives her a big grin too. She laughs delightedly and reaches out to tickle his belly. 

Danny is napping when Tim gets home, but he's barely through the door before Angela is barreling into his legs   
"GUESS WHAT!?"  
Tim looks down startled by the greeting. "What?!" He asks back just as excited sounding.

"Danny SMILED at me!"  
"He did?!" Tim bends down and picks her up. "I'm jealous! He hasn't smiled at me yet." Tim pouts at her jokingly. 

"When he wakes up I'll teach you how," which makes Tim laugh again   
He carries her through to the living room.

Annie is sitting on the couch with Danny asleep with his head on her chest. Shelagh's next to her with a nearly napping Teddy on her lap.   
Tim bends down to kiss Danny's head as he greets his mum and Annie.   
"Ange tells me that Danny smiled at her today." He says, sitting down in one of the arm chairs.   
Angie scrambles up onto his lap. "He diiiiiid!" She insists.   
"Shhh, the baby is sleeping." Tim reminds her quietly.   
"He did." Angie mutters crossing her arms.   
Shelagh and Annie chuckle.   
"He did smile, and it wasn't just wind. He's been asleep so long I think smiling so much tired him out." Annie says running her hand over the little boy's back a few times.   
Tim's expression goes soft and fond. "Aw, well it was a big day for someone so small."   
Tim wraps his arms around her middle. "It's alright. I should have believed you."


	28. Mistletoe

Shelagh woke up before Angela and Teddy came running in to wake them. Which mildly surprised her. She often still did wake early, but over the years it hadn't become an everyday occurrence. Especially as she'd gotten used to running on the children's schedule and her nine to whenever-Patrick-left.

She was glad that she was up before the rest of her family though. It gave her a bit of time to pray, and to set her plan in motion. She'd bought some mistletoe from Fred and intended to hang it throughout the house. Sister Julienne was in on it, and had gotten some of the nurses to hang a few sprigs around Nonnatus for Christmas Dinner. The new nurses had been a little confused by the pile of mistletoe and the mischievous grin on the Sister’s face, but did as asked, sure that she had a reason. 

Shelagh went downstairs to start preparing breakfast, and hang up the mistletoe.   
And when Patrick half woke up to roll over, and found her missing, he got up to go find her.   
He finds her downstairs standing on a chair tacking mistletoe to the doorway between the kitchen and dining room. Shelagh is singing quietly to herself as she works, Christmas songs and carols. He just blinks sleepily at her for a while, idly wondering what the hell his wife is doing.

"Need a hand?" He asks, voice still filled with sleep. He walks over to her as he says it just in case he startles her off the chair.

She twists around to look at him. "I've got it." She finished tacking it up and the uses his shoulder to steady her as she climbs down.  
Patrick puts his hands on her hips when she's back on the floor. "What are you doing climbing on chairs so early in the morning?"

"Hanging mistletoe," Shelagh replies, winding her arms around his waist and leans into him   
Patrick grins at her. "You don't need mistletoe to get a kiss from me." He kisses her nose teasingly.   
Shelagh rolls her eyes at him. "It's our son who needs the help."

Patrick shakes his head fondly, grinning a little.  
"What's your next plan? Hiding magnets in their clothes?"

"Hmm, not a bad idea." She smirks at him, laughing when she shakes his head again.   
"But they're already attracted to each other."

Patrick hums and runs one hand through her hair. "They are."

"And I'm just trying to give them a little nudge." Shelagh shrugs as she tilts her head back a bit to look up at him better. 

"A little nudge?" He raises an eyebrow at her with a grin.

"Mmhmm, just a little nudge by way of festive foliage."

"A very large nudge, maybe," but he sounds amused 

"If he's anything like his father, subtlety is hardly useful." She winks at him before turning to head into the kitchen. 

"Hey now!" Patrick says in mocked offense. He snags her hand and pulls her back to him.   
She giggles at him and wraps her arms around his waist, her hands under the edge of his pyjama shirt.

"You have to admit it's not your strong suite." 

Patrick shivers a little at her fingers on his back as they slide a little lower.  
"I will do no such thing."

She tucks her fingers under the edge of his pyjama pants. "Oh? Are you sure?" 

"Shelagh," his voice is low. "Mistletoe is for kissing, not whatever you're planning to do with that hand."

She winks at him. "Kissing where, though?" 

Patrick tries not to groan at the idea of her on her knees in front of him in the middle of their dining room. So instead he leans down and presses a kiss to her lips. "We have children upstairs who I'm sure would not want to come down stairs and see that."

Shelagh grins, eyes twinkling, and removes her hand, smoothes down his shirt and then steps away from him, walking back towards the kitchen.


	29. Christmas 1966

Annie was looking forward to Christmas this year. Christmas Eve was going to be low key, just her, Tim, and Danny. Tim cooking stew and dumplings, cake for afters, watching TV while cuddling with Danny. It's a nice quiet evening, just their little family. They exchange gifts to each other, and keep the tradition of new pyjamas. Even Danny has a tiny tartan sleeper and some tiny little Christmas socks.  
They go to bed fairly early because they know Danny will be up with the sun. And so will Angela and Teddy and they want to be there for presents.

Annie's gift to Tim is a lab coat that she made for him. He's forever complaining that he never has enough pockets, so she puts a few extra on the inside. Has little ones that are the perfect size for pens. The lining in the sleeves is a blue a fabric that can only be seen when he rolls up his sleeves. And she embroidered T. Turner across the breast pocket. And Tim absolutely loves it.   
He wears it forever. And then when it literally falls apart he still keeps it. She makes him new ones to replace the ones he wears to threads. 

Tim was so excited for Annie to open what he got her. He’d talked to Violet about the options. She’d asked him what the large box under the tree was a few days before Christmas, but he’d kept avoiding answering her. His face was filled with childlike excitement when she unwraps it. He’s also a little nervous that it might come across as impersonal. But it nearly makes her cry.

"I figured if you had your own, you'd be able to do more work from home."

Annie looks at him. Her eyes full of tears. Skims her hands over the box   
"Oh, Tim." 

"Do you like it?" He asks nervously.

"I love it." She leans over to give him a giant hug. Clings to him a little bit. "Oh Tim, its perfect." 

"I'm so glad you like it." Tim says giving her a squeeze.  
"I do." She kisses his cheek, looking a bit shy. She did it without really thinking, so touched by his gesture. She blushes a bit when she settles back down next to him. 

They didn't really get Danny too much. Most toys still being a bit old for him.   
They got him a couple of "First Christmas" things, an outfit for dinner at Nonnatus, little bits and pieces Tim impulse brought on his way home from class. The toys that they did get him were small blocks and stacking toys, a new rattle, and a pull toy that he won’t be able to play with for a while still. And books. Tim reads to him every night, the little boy falling asleep on his Dad’s chest. 

Christmas morning was a flurry activity, they planned to be at Shelagh’s and Patrick’s in time for breakfast. And they knew that Angela would start a mutiny if they were late. Especially because presents always had to wait until after everyone had eaten.   
Annie kept Danny in his pyjamas. He had been up with the sun but Annie had felt he looked too adorable to put him in his Christmas outfit yet. He’s not the only one still his jammies when they get to Shelagh and Patrick’s, Angie and Teddy still have theirs on. 

Once the door the is opened, Angie pushes past Shelagh and pulls Tim inside. 

“Timmy! You’re almost late!” She scolds him pulling on his hand. 

Shelagh and Annie laugh as they follow them inside. 

“We’re not late and that’s what’s important!” Tim tells her when he’s finally able to set down the bag containing everyone’s gifts. 

“But you ALMOST were.” She challenges. 

“Ange,” Shelagh warns gently. Angie looks at her Mum with a sheepish grin and runs over to give Annie a hug. 

Teddy and Angie bolted down their breakfasts, both so excited to not only get her presents, but to give the ones she got for everyone. She’d made biscuits with Shelagh and boxed them up for Annie and Tim, and with Shelagh’s help, she’d made a new hat for Danny. Angie loves the dress Annie made for her, a blue dress covered with a sunflower pattern, she demands to wear it to dinner at Nonnatus. Just like the year before, Annie got Teddy a new winter hat, and he was just as thrilled. 

Shelagh and Annie had similar ideas for eachother. Shelagh and Patrick had gotten a bunch of photographs developed for her, and Shelagh put some into an album, leaving lots of room for future ones. Annie had made salt dough impressions of Danny’s hands, and framed a photo from Angie’s birthday. It had the whole family, actually in frame. But it wasn’t the fully posed one. Everyone had been caught off guard, not paying attention to the camera. 

“I have this for Danny too.” Angie says climbing up on the sofa next to Annie. In her hands, a small stuffed blue bear. “This is Cuthbert the second. He looked after me and I don't need him now so he can look after Danny."

Annie wraps her arms around Angie, “Oh Ange, I’m sure Danny will love him and take good care of him in return.” Angie stays curled up next to Annie for a bit, until she’s told to go get dressed for caroling. 

Shelagh and Annie get the little ones bundled up to go caroling. This year Teddy joins them, it's the first year he's asked to.  
Tim decides to stay behind with Daniel and his Dad. Patrick, while he enjoys the music, has never been one for walking about in the cold if it can be helped. And he likes the opportunity for a little bit of peace and quiet, and to take the time to miss his first wife. Tim also doesn't want to pass up the opportunity to spend a bit of time just with his Dad and his son on Christmas. It gives them a chance to reminisce for a bit. Start telling Daniel some stories about his other Grandma. Patrick's been able to talk about her more the past few years. Tells Tim how proud of him his Mum would be, how much she would love little Daniel. And Annie. They both talk about how much they miss her, their voices quiet.

Daniel is sitting on Tim's lap, happily sucking on a set of teething keys.   
"I wish she was here to see him." Tim says sadly.   
He feels a little guilty saying it, because he loves Shelagh (and Angie and Teddy) so much. He never wants to make Shelagh feel like he doesn't love her, that he’s not glad she’s his mum too.  
But he misses Mummy. 

"I wish she could, too," Patrick replies, smiling when Danny swaps the teething keys for Patrick's knuckle. "I wish she could see how much you've grown. The man you're becoming." 

Tim gives him half of a smile. "I hope she'd be proud of me."

Patrick pulls him into a tight hug, careful not to squish Danny, and kisses Tim's temple. "She would be. She would be so proud of you, Tim. As I am."

Danny reaches out and grabs a hold of the Patrick's brace, and laughs happily when it springs back from his hand when Patrick moves.

Tim smiles down at the little boy in his lap, his throat feeling a little thick.   
"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Timothy." Patrick sets his hand on Tim's shoulder and gives it a squeeze before moving it to tickle Danny. "And you as well, Daniel."

Danny laughs hard at him. He tries to grab onto Patrick's fingers but Patrick is too quick for him. The little boy laughs harder at him and then stuffs his fist back in his mouth. Their conversation stays lighter as they wait for everyone to get back. Playing with Daniel and talking about plans for the new year. If Tim has thought about whether he might like to specialise more or stay in general practice. 

Shelagh and Annie come back to see them both sitting on the floor, Daniel standing with Tim's help and Patrick making faces at him. Danny is either giggling at or frowning quizzically at him. 

Patrick grins up at Annie and Shelagh when they come in. "Have fun?"

"It was lots of fun Daddy!" Teddy says running to him, his coat thrown to the floor by the door. 

"Ted, go back and hang your coat properly please." Shelagh tells him.

"Go on," Patrick adds, and hides a smile when Teddy trudges grudgingly back to hang up his coat.  
"Thank you, Ted," Shelagh says with a smile and ruffles his hair when he comes back. He harrumphs a little bit but laughs when Shelagh tickles his sides. 

"You said it was fun?" Patrick prompts when Shelagh's finished tickling him.

"Uh huh! Lots of people gave us biscuits!"

Angie had hung up her coat as soon as they came inside and was in the kitchen helping Annie make some hot chocolate. 

"They weren't as good as Mummy's though!" She shouts from the kitchen.  
Patrick grins. "Biscuits are never as good as Mummy's."  
When Annie and Angie bring in the hot chocolate, Annie sits on the sofa behind Tim. And Tim scootches back to lean against her legs.   
"Did you have fun?" He asks, tipping his head back to look at her. 

She ruffles his hair affectionately. "I did. I even got a few biscuits. Did you have a nice time here?" 

Tim nods but keeps his head leaned back against her legs. Her playing with his hair sometimes just renders him a bit useless. Patrick meets Shelagh's eyes and she has a SEE!!! Expression.  
He rolls his eyes at her, but he's grinning too. They're being absolutely adorable and Shelagh just wants them to finally admit that they've fallen in love. 

Patrick and Shelagh both know that they would be so happy together. They're already all but together. Living together and raising Daniel. And Annie has confided in her that they frequently share the bed.Annie is so nervous when she admits it. What Shelagh will think, will think of her. For "leading Tim on" as much as anything. 

Annie's convinced herself that it's just convenient. Because he gets up when the baby cries at night anyway. And Danny really likes falling asleep on his chest. Convenient, and just evidence of how nice he is and deserves someone who can really love him, because he'll stay if she's upset or lonely or cuddling him and falls asleep. Although she's slowly coming around to the idea she can love him. 

When it's time to head to Nonnatus Angie demands to put on her new dress that Annie made her.   
"What happened to asking nicely?" Shelagh asks mildly, watching Angela with her little hands on her hips.  
"Mummy, may I please wear my new dress?" Angie asks, only a little huff in her voice.

Angela runs upstairs to get changed and Shelagh follows her  
Tim helps Annie clean up the hot chocolate mugs while Angie is getting ready to leave. 

Patrick asks if they need help with anything, and Annie tells him they brought Danny a little outfit for Christmas dinner and Patrick offers to get him changed.

"The outfit is in the baby bag." Annie tells him.   
Patrick goes to find the outfit and then scoops Danny up to get him changed. He loves doing things for his grandson. 

Tim goes into the living room to make sure nothing else needs to be cleaned up and when he goes to tell Annie that everything is picked up, they bump into each other in the doorway. It's then that they notice the mistletoe hanging above them.

Annie blushes slightly pink. "Oops."

They shuffle about a little bit, both with their heads down. Annie leans up on her tip toes and gives him a quick peck on the cheek, ducking her head back down as soon as she's done it. Shelagh comes down the stairs following Angela just in time to see it. And she has to put her hand over her mouth to stop from groaning. 

Tim takes Angela's appearance as an excuse to step away from under the mistletoe. He's a bit pink. Annie has to lean against the door frame for a minute. Her heart is beating faster than she'd like it to be. 

"Very smart, Ang." Tim says walking over to his little sister. 

Angie grins at Tim before running over and giving Annie a big hug. "Thank you Annie, I really really like it!"  
Annie hugs her back. "You're welcome! You look perfect."   
Angie gives them a twirl and Annie laughs, even though her insides are still squirming.  
Patrick comes down carrying a very dapper looking little Daniel and followed by an equally dapper looking Teddy.  
He glances between Annie and Tim and then at Shelagh and turns his attention to Angela. "Your dress looks very lovely, Angie."

Angie gives a twirl for Patrick too and everyone laughs when Teddy does the same.   
"What a handsomely dressed bunch we make." Shelagh laughs. 

Patrick gives her a spin too, which makes Shelagh roll her eyes at him. "Yes yes, and you. Are we all ready to go?"

She grabs coats off the hooks by the door to a chorus of yeses. Most loudly from Angie and Teddy. Even Danny made a happy noise. Shelagh makes sure everyone is in their coats and they have the present bags in the car already and the pies for dessert.

Everyone heads out to the car but Patrick puts his hand on Shelagh's arm to hold her back a moment.   
"What did I walk in on?" He asks, voice low.   
"I only caught the end," Shelagh says softly. "Angela disturbed them. They were caught under the mistletoe and she kissed his cheek."  
"Your plan was so close to working." Patrick teases.   
Shelagh swats at his arm. "I've got more up my sleeve than that.

"Are they hidden in Sister Julienne's sleeves, by any chance?"

"Not quite." She sticks her tongue out at him and heads out to the car.   
Everyone piles into the car tightly. Teddy ends up on Tim's lap, Danny on Annie's, and Angela between them. Angela is trying to get out the car before Patrick has even turned the engine off.  
As soon as she's able to, she starts to run a head up the stairs of Nonnatus.   
"Angela, please don't run ahead." Shelagh calls out to her.  
"But Mummy!" Angela protests. "I want to see Sister!"

"We all want to see her too. Or do you want her to think you forgot her Christmas present?"

Angie trudges back to Shelagh and takes her hand. "I don't want her to think that."

Teddy and Angie made salt dough ornaments of their own for Sister Julienne and the other Nonnatuns. 

Shelagh squeezes her hand. "Then let's all go in together, hmm?"

Once inside though, Angela runs ahead again to go find Sister Julienne.  
Shelagh lets her. Mostly because Angela's yell of "Sister Julienne!" can be heard probably on the moon.   
Sister Julienne laughs and bends down to give Angela a hug. "Happy Christmas darling girl."  
Angela hugs her tightly. "Merry Christmas, Sister!"  
"Would you like to give Sister Julienne her gift?" Shelagh asks, coming up to them.   
Shelagh gets their gifts out and hands them to them, so they can give them to Sister Julienne.  
They both made her ornaments, Teddy's is a bit of a lumpy star, and Angie's is a cross.   
Sister Julienne is suitably impressed with her presents and hangs them on the tree. The kids go around and give similar ornaments to the other nurses and nuns. Angie gets a few comments on her dress and proudly tells people that Annie made it.   
And then Annie gets lots of comments/compliments that make her blush. Since working at Vi's she's gotten a number of customers who specifically ask for her. She's even brought in new business. Trixie gets dresses for her girls all the time. 

Sister Julienne steals Danny for a cuddle. Danny laughs in delight when Sister Julienne takes him in her arms. He likes trying to grab her wimple.   
"Well hello Daniel. And how is your Christmas?" Sister Julienne laughs when Danny's hands miss her wimple and land on her face.   
He pats his hands against her face and giggles up a storm when she blows a little raspberry on his hand. And he reaches for her wimple again, babbling at her.   
Annie feels comfortable leaving Danny with Sister Julienne and goes off in search of Trixie. Her little boy will be safe and happy with her. Trixie is helping to watch over the children.  
"Merry Christmas." Annie says hugging her back. 

Trixie’s gift to her is a new baby bag. She knew that Annie had bought hers second hand.   
"Oh Trixie, thank you, but this is too mu--" Annie tries telling her.   
"Nonsense, I won't even hear it." Trixie stops her. 

Annie clutches the bag. She hates feeling cheap. Working for Vi has helped, but she’s still far below the standard of living she’d grown up with.

She's got a small package for Trixie. There'd been a bolt of silk at the shop that she knew Trixie would adore, so she'd made her a scarf out of it. She gives Trixie her package in return. "Oh sweetie! It's absolutely gorgeous! And it even matches my coat." Trixie gives her another hug.

Annie stays chatting with Trixie until dinner is announced. She thinks she notices that Trixie puts her hand on her stomach a few times. And she's not scooping up Teddy like she normally does.   
Just enough to make Annie suspect. She's actually quite good at hiding it.

When dinner is announced, Sister Julienne brings Danny back over to Annie. Her little boy had been passed around to pretty much everyone there, but still under Sister Julienne's watchful eye.  
Annie keeps Danny on her lap throughout dinner, not minding having to keep his hands out of her food. She knows he's going to be hungry soon for his own dinner, so she doesn't want to have hunt him down when he starts crying.

After the prayer is said, Trixie clears her throat and says that she has an announcement she'd like to make. She takes Christopher's hand under the table and gives it a squeeze.

Christopher squeezes her hand back and smiles at her. Across the table Shelagh takes Patrick;s hand under the table too.

"Christopher and I are going to be welcoming another little one into our family."  
Trixie's smile is so bright, dimples on full display.

There's a beat of silence and then the room erupts   
Sister Julienne gets up to the the first one to give both Trixie and Christopher a hug   
"Oh, congratulations, my dear."  
"Thank you, Sister." Trixie replies, hugging her back.  
After congratulations and hugs are given everyone sits back down to enjoy the meal.  
Christopher let's everyone know that they're still waiting a few weeks to tell the girls, but so far the pregnancy seems to be going smoothly.  
"You knew didn't you?" Patrick's asks in a low whisper, leaning over to Shelagh.

Shelagh smiles and kisses his cheek."She told me when she got the result, but it was their news to share."  
Patrick squeezes her hand and turns his attention back to the conversation at the table.

Shelagh returns to the conversation too.   
Lunch is the usual polite chaos, everyone talking together and laughing together   
Talking over each other to be heard.  
Small conversations happening at the same time that a larger one happening with the table as a whole.

The kids table being checked on from time to time.

Teddy has mash potato in his hair and Angela has acquired one of the nurses aprons to protect her new dress. But they're getting on fine really. Alexandra is with them this year for the holiday, and she's making sure little Allie doesn't get too messy and that most of her food is actually being eaten and not played with.

And helping to keep the others at the table in line   
As she's the oldest at the table, at ten.

The youngest is Allie at 3. Barbara and Tom have a toddler but he's sitting at the grown ups table because he's still little.

Angela definitely thinks Alexandra is So Cool

Teddys a little grumpy he's the only boy.

He normally doesn't mind much, but he's a little put out   
No-one has watched or read his comics   
And Angela is bored by his bug stories - she's found MUCH bigger and betters ones in the garden   
AND learned about them at school 

 

It's after dinner that everyone is up and dancing. Danny is back to being passed around to everyone. He'd had his own dinner and was perfectly content.

A few people "dancing" with him, with his head on their shoulders and them just rocking/bopping to the music   
Barbara and Tom are dancing   
Trixie and Christopher   
And Shelagh and Patrick   
Shelagh peering around him at Annie and Tim 

Tim and Annie are dancing too, mostly avoiding the slower songs though. And every time they get near the planted mistletoe Shelagh smacks at Patrick's arm. 

Patrick winces every time and mock glares at he.   
"He's gonna notice, you know," he murmurs into Shelagh's ear when he obligingly spins them so she can keep watching.

Tim has his arms around Annie's waist and hers are up around his neck. And they're under a sprig of mistletoe for a few minutes before Annie looks up and notices it. Shelagh presses her forehead against Patrick’s shoulder for a second to contain herself and then peers at them again. 

Annie blushes and nods to the mistletoe. "Looks like we got caught."

This time Tim leans down to kiss Annie's cheek.  
Shelagh lets a frustrated groan and presses her face into Patrick's chest.  
Trixie and Christopher are dancing near them and Trixie hears her reaction. She turns and sees that Tim and Annie are just spinning away from mistletoe. Shelagh's ARGH sends Patrick into a fit of laughter, Patrick pats her back teasingly in comfort. Trixie raises an eyebrow at Patrick's laugh and Shelagh’s face.

Annie and Tim stop dancing when Barbara brings over a fussing Danny.   
"Are you getting sleepy sweet boy?" Annie asks as Barbara hands her the little boy.   
"I think so, I thought he was going to fall asleep a few times." Barbara tells her.   
"He fights sleep whenever he can, doesn't like to miss anything." Tim smiles, as he reaches out and places his hand on Danny's back. Danny makes a few sleepy babbles at Tim's touch and rubs his face against Annie's shoulder.

Annie rubs his back. "Tim, is there a place we can sit so I can get him to sleep?"

Tim nods. "Just this way. Barbara, will you let Mum or Sister Julienne know where we've gone if they need us?"

"Of course." Barbara tells him.   
Tim leads Annie to a small room that has a few chairs and sofa.   
"There's so many rooms here that I'm not sure what they're used for, this is one of them. But it works out in our favor."

"Probably used to be a living room when the Order was bigger..." Annie says, smiling at Tim. She sits down on the sofa and gets Danny settled.

Tim sits down next to her. "They've only been here for a few years. The old Nonnatus house had to be demolished after a World War II bomb had to be detonated a few blocks over."  
He tells her about the bomb scare, and about that being when he had polio.  
And the wedding that didn't happen. Annie leans against him, Danny upright on her chest with his fist in his mouth. 

Annie makes a soft noise. She knew about the polio but not the details. "I didn't know they had to postpone the wedding."  
Tim stretches his arms and drapes one around Annie's shoulders and he turns a bit to place his hand on Danny's back.  
"They postponed it for a few months. Mum's said it was much better that they did."

When Annie looks at him curiously, Tim smiles and rubs her shoulder. "She said it meant she got to know us better. And - she decided to get married in white. She wasn't going to, before."   
Tim doesn't know the details of why, but as he's grown up he can guess some of them.   
"We spent a lot of time all together between Christmas and the wedding. Plus, Sister Julienne and the others got to come, too."  
They sit in silence for a little bit, Annie doesn't really know what to say. Annie rests her head on Tim's shoulder as they both rub Danny's back. The little boy keeps trying to fight sleep but is failing. He does it all the time if something even vaguely interesting is happening, determined to stay awake. But he'll fall asleep eventually if they just sit quiet with him and rock him. Once he's asleep Tim goes in search of a Moses basket. He's sure there's one around somewhere.  
He comes back with one after a while, there were various ones around from when some of the nurses had littles ones and would visit. Tim settles Danny into the basket and carries him back to where everyone else is. The music has gotten a little quieter and the main sitting room was quiet enough to have Danny in. Annie follows them and sees a stray bit of mistletoe on the floor that must have fallen. She picks it up and sticks it into her pocket. 

"I'm going to step outside for a moment, if that's alright." Annie tells him quietly.   
"Everything alright?" He asks concerned.   
She nods. "I'm fine. Just want a little fresh air."

Annie wraps her coat around herself and steps outside. She needs a moment to herself.   
Nonnatus Christmas is a bit full on.She leans against the wall at the tops of the steps, looking up toward the sky. It's started to snow a little bit, just a few flurries. She's been out there for nearly ten minutes when Tim comes out to check on her. He comes to stand next to her and offers her a mug of hot chocolate. Annie smiles and takes the mug and warms her hands on it. 

"Last Christmas, I was so scared. I didn't know if I was going to be a good enough mother, if I was strong enough. Everything was happening so fast." Annie focuses more on her mug than Tim.

Tim moves a little so their shoulders are pressed together, just sharing warmth and being close 

Annie looks up at him, and smiles softly. "And this year, I can't imagine my life being any different."

He smiles back at her, his eyes crinkling a little, expression soft and warm, the light from the half open Nonnatus door spilling out over him.  
"I'm glad."  
Annie tilts her head a bit more towards him. "So am I."   
She smiles at him shyly and slips a hand into her pocket and pulls out the sprig of mistletoe she swiped earlier. Lifting it up she meets his eyes. 

Tim swallows. "Annie?" His voice is barely audible, but he wants to be sure.

She nods, if he hadn't been watching her so intently he might have missed it. Tim brings one hand up to touch his fingertips to her cheek and jaw. She tilts her head up a little more and nods again, twirling the mistletoe jokingly. Tim leans in to kiss her, just the softest of brushes against her lips. 

Tim pulls back a little to see Annie smiling at him. She puts a hand on his chest, dropping the mistletoe in the process and bunches his sweater a little to pull him to her again. She presses her lips to his. Tim makes a soft noise, his hand fully cradling her cheek and jaw. The kiss stays soft, but they stay pressed together like that for a few moments. When they part Tim smiles down at her. Annie blushes and takes a sip of her hot chocolate. Tim brushes a hand along her shoulder, and Annie put her hot chocolate down to step closer to him. Tucking her head under his chin. Her heart is pounding, and with her head against him she can tell his is too .  
"Put your arms around me, Tim," she murmurs softly.

Tim complies and wraps his arms around her and he rests his head on top of hers. They stay outside together for a little bit longer, under the cold becomes too much. When they turn to go back inside, Annie grabs hold of Tim's hand as they walk back in.  
Patrick is the first one to spot them. He nudges Shelagh who turns around in time to see Tim put his arm around Annie's shoulder and Annie tuck in against him.

Shelagh gasps softly and puts her hands over her mouth.  
Patrick chuckles and kisses the side of her head. "I knew they'd get there eventually." He whispers. 

Shelagh elbows him lightly. "So did I." 

Tim looks up, makes eye contact with his father, and blushes bright. Patrick nods at him, grinning. He's honestly happy for them. Annie looks up too and blushes. She looks sheepish and shy, but doesn't move away from Tim. And Shelagh is just beaming. The night winds down and after rounds of hugs and final Christmas wishes the Turners make their way home. Annie and Tim had mostly been the way they always are, if with a few more blushes and hand holding. 

At the house Annie helps Shelagh get the kids into bed. The little ones are too tired even to beg for stories. It’s just a case of taking their shoes/clothes off and dropping them into bed   
Annie is a little nervous about being alone with Shelagh. 

"Your mistletoe worked." Annie tells her, blushing.  
Shelagh looks at her with a grin, giving her a quick hug around the shoulders. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean." 

Annie laughs lightly. 

Shelagh's grin softens into a smile. "I'm so happy for you, love."

"I am too." Annie says ducking her head a bit.

"I'm glad."

Annie gives Shelagh a hug before heading into Tim's room to get herself ready for bed.   
Tim has the baby downstairs and had offered to get him changed.  
Downstairs, Tim and Patrick are having a similar conversation. Tim tells him about the mistletoe.  
It makes Patrick grin. "You'll have to thank you Mother."  
Tim chuckles, "It wasn't exactly subtle."

"You mother claims it’s not our strong suit." 

"I'd like to think I didn't inherit that from you, thanks." 

Patrick jokingly glares at him.


	30. Boxing Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim and Patrick go to the cemetery every year on boxing day. It had started out as a tradition on Christmas, but it moved to Boxing Day so they weren’t rushing about with all the other festivities. This year, Tim has Daniel to bring.

They wake up leisurely on Boxing Day, there isn't much to do besides the cemetery. Annie wakes up when Danny does, and Tim wakes up soon after. His internal clock has set itself to when Danny usually wakes up. He goes upstairs to use the bathroom, and then knocks on Annie's door softly, just in case their son decided to sleep in.

"Come in." Annie calls.   
Tim opens the door and sees Annie sitting on the bed nursing Danny.  
He closes the door and goes over to her, nodding to be bed next to her. "May I?" 

"Of course." Annie smiles at him.   
When Tim sits down he loops an arm over her shoulders and Annie settles against him.   
It's a familiar, comfortable arrangement. Something they've done a hundred times before.  
Tim will play with Danny's feet or hands while he eats.   
The only difference is when Danny's finished and Annie has replaced her shirt, she tilts her head up to look at Tim.   
"Give me a kiss?"   
Tim grins and leans down to give her a soft kiss.   
Annie kisses him back just as softly, grinning and giggling a little when she pulls back to see to Danny. Danny's watching them, his fist stuck firmly in his mouth.  
Tim laughs, "Looks like we're busted."   
Annie lifts Danny up so he's nearly standing, which usually causes him to start laughing and bouncing.   
"What do you think sweet boy? Mummy and Daddy kissing okay?"  
Danny bounces on his feet and reaches out for them both, babbling.   
"I'll take that as an agreement." Tim chuckles.  
"I think so, too," Annie says with a grin. She tilts her head back towards Tim and this time Tim kisses her without her prompting him to. Annie makes a soft noise into the kiss. Kissing him is quickly becoming her favourite thing. She wouldn't call him hesitant, but he is careful. And gentle.

They stay holed up for a bit, playing with Danny, kissing some more. It's not until they hear the rest of the household moving around that they get up. Angela and Teddy are busy re-discovering all their Christmas presents, Shelagh is making a pot of tea, and Patrick is going through his calendar for the next few days to see if there's anyone he absolutely must see that day.   
Shelagh turns to beam at them when they come downstairs, Tim carrying Danny. "Good morning, dears. Tea?"

Yes please." They say together, causing a ripple of giggles between them. 

Shelagh shakes her head at them in mock disgust, her eyes twinkling. Tim hands Danny to Annie and goes to help Shelagh in the kitchen. There are many cups of tea to be made and breakfast to start now everyone is up. Annie wanders through to the living room. 

"Hi Annie!" Angie calls from where she's playing with Teddy on the floor.

"Hello, Angie. Hello, Ted. Having a good time?" She sits down on the floor with them, back against the sofa and Danny on her lap.   
Teddy abandons his game with Angela to say hello to Danny, who is finally getting interesting enough to keep his attention.   
Danny reaches out to Teddy and babbles.   
"I think he wants to play with you." Annie says. 

She moves Danny from her lap to sit him on the floor in front of Teddy. Teddy laughs happily and Danny shouts back at him, waving his hands around. Annie laughs watching the two boys play. Angie abandons her toys and comes over to join them. Annie keeps on eye on them, sometimes Danny gets so excited he tips himself over. Honestly, it's hilarious to watch happen, but she doesn't want him to get hurt. Danny is rarely bothered when it happens, but she's a little worried he might bash his head when he falls. Tim and Shelagh bring tea and breakfast to the table and Angie and Teddy run off to wash their hands. Annie positions Danny on his belly and puts a few toys in his reach before heading to the table and sitting so she can keep an eye on the baby.

Breakfast is relaxed, everyone taking what they want, conversation flowing easily. After breakfast has been cleaned up, Patrick asks Tim if he's ready to go to the cemetery.   
Tim had told Annie about their tradition last year, and this year he had asked her if it was okay if he took Danny.

Tim nods. "Just need to get changed.." He turns to look at Annie. "Can I still take Danny?"

Annie nods quickly. "Of course you can."

Tim gives Annie a small, grateful smile and leans over to kiss her on the cheek before heading upstairs to get dressed. 

Annie smiles at Patrick and Shelagh. "I'll just go make sure Daniel will be warm enough." 

Annie scoops Danny up off of the floor, despite is annoyed grunt as he was playing with the rug, and heads upstairs with him. Patrick and Shelagh exchange an amused look as Annie follows Tim upstairs. 

It's not often Annie feels like she's intruding anymore, but sometimes these little moments - quiet rituals, especially the sad ones - she feels a little out of place. It's not so bad when Tim is there, but when it's just her with Patrick and Shelagh... she never knows what to do. 

She gets Danny into his warmest clothes and bundled in a blanket, despite his protests. Even at five months old, Danny HATES being completely wrapped up. And mittens are his nemesis because he can't suck on his fist or grab things. After changing and cleaning up in the bathroom, Tim comes into his room to see Annie playing with the very bundled up Daniel.  
She looks up and gives him a small smile. "There. All ready to go." She stands up to pass him over to Tim.  
"Danny you feel more like a marshmallow than a little boy." Tim teases as kisses the baby's face, making him laugh. 

"Don't want him to catch cold," Annie says with a smile. "Nor you, you hear me?" she adds to Tim quietly, stepping forward to flatten down the lapel of his jacket.

"I'll make sure to put my hat and scarf on when we leave." Tim tells her, wrapping his free arm around her waist. "Thank you for letting me take him with us."

"Of course," Annie replies quietly and kisses his cheek. "He's your son. He should meet his grandmother."   
Annie strokes a hand over Danny's head. Tim gives her a sad smile before leaning down to give her a proper kiss. Annie sighs into the kiss, cupping his face and stroking his cheek with her thumb.

A light knock on the door causes them to jump a part just as Patrick sticks his head in. "All ready?"

Tim nods. "All ready."

Annie follows them downstairs and makes sure that Tim does indeed put on his hat and scarf.  
Shelagh is also fussing over Patrick a little, making sure he has his scarf and hat and his coat.   
Usually Teddy and Angela would be clamoring to go along, but Shelagh had told them that Daddy and Tim were going to Tim's first Mummy's grave. Angela gives them both a hug around the legs as they leave. Shelagh puts an arm around Annie's shoulders and squeezes gently as they wave goodbye to the boys.

They end up walking to the cemetery. It's not far, and it's not bitterly cold outside. They make sure to pick up fresh flowers. Danny settles in Tim's arms as they walk, though still thoroughly unimpressed with his attire. And annoyed he can't grab the flowers Patrick is carrying. 

Patrick leads the way to Marianne's grave, he's been there more than Tim. and has the way memorized.Tim follows behind him, careful not to trip while carrying Danny. Feeling his chest ache. Tim stands a little distance away to give his Dad a little bit of time alone first. He can't hear what his Dad is saying, but he can tell by his body language that he's crying a bit.   
Tim bounces Daniel in arms in an effort to keep himself calm. Tim finds this bit the worst. Watching his Dad quietly break down, just waiting in the quiet stillness of the cemetery.

After a while Patrick rubs at his eyes and then stands, patting the gravestone once or twice and then turning to Tim with a watery smile.Tim walks over to his Dad's side when Patrick turns towards him. His chest is still tight and can already feel tears burning behind his eyes. 

Patrick puts a hand on his shoulder. "Shall I take Daniel?" Patrick's voice is rough from his own tears.  
Tim shakes his head. "No, I want him with me."  
He walks over to his Mum's grave and kneels down gently, shifting Daniel so that he's standing.   
Making sure to have Daniel secure against his body with on arm, Tim reaches out to trace his fingers over the name on the placard. Daniel bounces a little on his feet and then babbles a little, his hands reaching out towards the gravestone.

Tim lets out a little chuckle and wipes at his face.   
"Hi Mummy." He says quietly. "I brought someone to meet you."  
Danny tips his head back to look at Tim when he speaks and then back at the grave. Struggling a little against Tim, wanting to get on the floor.   
Tim has to take a few moments before he can speak again. "Mummy. This is your grandson. My son. His name is Daniel Timothy."   
Danny looks at Tim again when he says his name, before letting out a happy shriek and bouncing on his feet again.  
Tim laughs, but it comes out more like a sob. "He's very happy to meet you."  
He wipes at his face again before continuing. "I promise he'll know who you are, that he'll know his Grandma.”  
Danny kicks his feet again.   
"I miss you, Mum. So much. Merry Christmas. I love you." Tim stands back and balances Daniel on his hip.  
Patrick walks back over and places his hand on Tim's shoulder. Tim turns and presses his face against Patrick's shoulder and heaves a few ragged sobs into his coat before he manages to get control of his breathing.

Patrick fumbles in his pocket for a moment before pulling out a small velvet box. "At the risk of making this even more emotional, I brought this along."  
He hands the box to Tim.   
Tim stares down at it blindly for a few moments and then looks up at Patrick, automatically putting his hands over Danny's to stop him grabbing for it.   
"Dad - what...?"  
"It's the ring I gave Mummy when I asked her to marry me."  
Patrick fidgets with fingers a bit, not sure how this will go over.

Tim stares at him, "Dad? Why are you..."

"Oh come now son, I'm not so old that I don't recognize the look on your face when Annie walks in the room." Patrick teases him. 

Tim blushes. "I had - thought about it," Tim admits quietly. "But Dad - its *yours*, Don't you want to keep it?" 

The few things he has of his mother's TIm couldn't imagine giving to anyone. Even Danny.   
And he knows Patrick has kept both of their wedding rings.

"Tim, I know she'd want you to have it. She'd be so thrilled to have Annie in the family. They would have gotten on so well. I'll still have her wedding band, and mine. This should go to you, and Annie when the time comes."

"Dad," Tim says, whispers soft, and hugs Patrick as tightly as he can with Danny between them.

Danny lets out an annoyed grunt and grabs at Patrick's scarf. Patrick eases the hug back but keeps an arm around Tim's shoulders.  
"I'd be in trouble if I took that off, little man," Patrick tells Danny with a sideways grin.   
Danny pulls a face and tugs on it again, laughing when Patrick pulls on it in return.  
Tim smiles at his Dad and Danny playing and puts the ring box in his pocket, keeping his hand over it   
"Let's go home." 

When Patrick turns to start walking, Danny lets out a cry at the scarf no longer being in his hands.   
"Oh hush Mr. Grabby Hands." Tim teases, he untucks the end of his own scarf to hand to Danny and the little boy tugs on it gleefully.   
"You'll be in trouble with two people when we get home," Patrick teases lightly. 

Tim shrugs. "Technically, I've not taken it off."

"Oh, yes, I'm sure that will go down well," Patrick replies with a wink, opening the door for him.  
Tim takes his scarf off quickly before Annie or Shelagh see him, and he hangs it up, causing Patrick to laugh.   
"Well I'm glad to see you two are laughing." Shelagh says brightly from the sofa. 

Tim grins at her and goes over to the sofa without taking his coat off, handing Danny over and giving her a quick hug. "Hi, Mum." 

"Hello love." Shelagh says, hugging him back as she takes the baby. 

She starts undoing his coat while Tim takes off his. When Danny finally can move his arms the way he wants he shouts happily and waves them around. Tim and Shelagh both laugh at him.   
Patrick comes over to retrieve Tim’s coat for him. Sometimes when they come back Tim wants to stay close to Shelagh for a little while. 

Annie joins them, followed by Angie and Teddy. When Annie sits next to Tim, he automatically moves to grab her hand. Annie looks a little surprised but takes his hand back and squeezes, giving him a small smile.


	31. New Years

The week between Christmas and New Years is filled with cuddles and kisses. Annie gets a bit of work done at home, now that she has her own sewing machine. And Tim keeps up with his between term work. Lots of cuddles and lots of soft little kisses. And she catches Tim just looking at her a lot, while she's sewing, or cooking, or holding Danny. He always blushes when she catches him. He still feels a little guilty about looking at her. Even though she kissed him, and continues to. Tim somehow looks surprised every time she kisses him.  
And just before the count down she tells him that she wants to start the new year together, officially.  
And Tim is just so overwhelmed.  
Looking at her like she's the most precious thing he's ever seen, flabbergasted. Very similar to Patrick reading Shelagh's note. He can't believe it  
And Annie's like...of course I love you  
and not just because you're my son's daddy  
because you are the best friend i've ever had

"I love you too," Tim replies, voice so soft and full of everything he's been holding back and hiding

Annie's crying a little.   
"Annie," Tim says, and cups her cheek. He sounds so worried  
Annie beams at him. "Happy tears Tim."

Tim makes a quiet noise. "I love you." He just keeps repeating it to her

Annie leans up and kisses him softly. "I love you, I have for some time. I just wasn't letting myself. But I want to start the New Year with you knowing."

Tim makes a tiny hurt noise. "I've loved you for so long. For forever. I'm so glad."   
"Really?" She knew that he felt the same, not necessarily that he'd been in love with her for just as long. 

Tim swallows. "From the moment we met, I think."  
He can't discern the sound she makes in response.   
It's a little shocked, a little sad. 

"Was - was that too much?" he asks. "I’m sorry."  
Annie shakes her head. "No it's.... It's not that at all. I just.... I've put you through so much..."

"No, no you haven't." Tim's voice is firmer than she meant and it makes her jump a little. "You've given me so much. Made me so happy. I... Loving you has been the best thing to ever happen to me."  
She reaches out to brush his hair off his forehead. "It took me so long to be able to tell because I was afraid that I wasn't enough."

"You are always enough."  
"I'm finally believing that." her smile is shy

"I'm so glad."   
Tim *adores* her so much it hurts.  
Tim and Annie make out a little bit where they've sequestered themselves.   
And Angie finds them.  
but Angie finding Tim and Annie making out tho

lol yes   
she walks in on them   
they're only kissing really   
yes  
Annie's arms around Tim's neck, his around her waist

Angie shouts   
like "OH my god!"  
she runs off "MUMMY TIM AND ANNIE ARE DOING MUSHY THINGS!"  
(which Tim totally does to her when he catches her and any of her boyfriends kissing)

(oh one hundred percent revenge might be a couple of decades late but its still sweet)   
Tim has a hilarious "oops" face   
Annie isn't too worried. She hadn't meant to announce it to everyone, but well   
She knows Shelagh is happy for them   
Annie goes bright red though.  
mostly embarrassed over Angela catching them

Angela is very "MUMMY!!!" until Shelagh gives her her full attention   
"Yes Angela?" Shelagh's a bit annoyed at the interruption. It's something they're working on with Angie.   
When she wants to tell someone something she wants to tell them NOW. 

"Annie and Tim were doing MUSHY stuff!"  
"Mushy stuff?" Shelagh asks, trying not to laugh.   
"YES. Mummyyyy they were KISSING!"

Shelagh tries to stifle a giggle. "Are they not allowed to kiss?"

"Kissing is GROSS"

Shelagh does laugh then  
"Kissing is gross huh?" Tim says scooping her up from behind.   
Angie lets out a squeal of laughter as Tim kisses all over her face and head. 

She squirms to try and escape, laughing really hard. "Annie! Save me!"  
"I don't knoooowwww....." Annie teases coming up next to Tim. "Maybe I should help Tim." She adds tickles into the mix.

Angie laughs so hard she cries, almost unable to breath with the laughter.  
"You were being MUSHY!"  
Tim finally lets Angie down when she starts coughing from laughing so hard.

She squints at them suspiciously, but she's smiling.

"Why were you kissing?" She asks, her hands now on her hips.

Tim and Annie looks at each other and the back at Angela. "Because we love each other," Tim replies. Annie can't help the grin that takes over her face and she ducks her head a bit. 

"Like mummy and daddy?" Angela asks  
Annie nods. "Yeah, like Mummy and Daddy."  
Tim puts his arm around her waist and pulls her close. Annie tucks herself against him almost subconsciously.

Angie looks between them, studying them. Annie is a little worried by the scrutiny until Angie flings her arms around the both of them. They both blink at her and hug her back.

"Okay, sweet girl?" Annie asks  
Angie nods. "I'm glad."

"Aww," Tim says and picks her up again. "We're glad, too."

And Patrick walks in and asks why everyone is glad.  
"These two have finally admitted they're in love." Shelagh tells him, emphasizing finally

Patrick grins, all crinkly eyed and soft. "Well then *I'm* glad."  
Annie tucks herself further into Tim, kind of embarrassed.

Tim squeezes her gently. "Do we have any cake left?" he asks, mostly to distracted them  
"There's always cake." Patrick grins heading back into the kitchen.   
"I want more cake Daddy!" Angie says running after him.

Annie smiles up at him, looking a bit grateful. "Thanks." Her voice is quiet  
Tim bends his head and kisses her softly. Vaguely aware that Shelagh is still right there.  
"You're welcome."

Annie is very pink and has a shy, pleased smile when Tim pulls back. Shelagh is smiling softly to herself, they're so cute. She leaves them to themselves and heads into the kitchen to stop Patrick from sneaking more cake to Angela.


End file.
